15 Things Women Want From the Men in Their Lives (2024)

15 Things Women Want From the Men in Their Lives (1)

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I’ve conducted a lot of research regarding women's friendships and the ways that people can most effectively maintain healthy connections over the long term. In a recent study, however, we explored what women, from 18 to 75, need from the men in their lives. Not surprisingly, the qualities women seek in heterosexual romantic partners, male friends, and men in general, are not all that different from what they seek in a friend. This makes sense: Any good relationship is built on some basic, down-to-earth qualities.

Specific to Romantic Partners

Women don’t need partners who invest all their energy in trying to prove how strong, manly, masculine, macho, or heroic they are. They just want men who are willing to meet them where they are and treat them fairly and equitably — and are able to make sure that the romantic spark keeps burning.

There’s no reliable assessment that can predict whether someone is going to be a good match for you or not; no dating-site algorithm can accurately predict the human heart. Even when a potential partner brings all of the following qualities to a relationship, that's no guarantee that the two of you will have good "chemistry" or meet up at the right time for each of you to enter a new relationship. However, recognizing what we know that we need from the important people in our lives increases our “relationship quotient” so that we can at least be aware of areas worthy of enrichment prior to establishing a new romantic connection.

The traits that women tend to value and need most from the men in their lives can be categorized in three discrete areas: moral integrity (from all men); relational sensitivity (from friends and partners); and satisfying intimacy (from romantic partners).

Traits of Moral Integrity

Mutual respect is an all-or-nothing proposition: Once a person loses respect for a partner, all bets are off. Women should be given the same respect that men offer other men. When a person is made to feel disrespected or patronized, the relationship is likely to end sooner rather than later. In terms of romantic relationships, even when you’re angry or disappointed by a partner, respect should be maintained.

  1. Open communication that occurs regularly and tactfully is essential. A healthy relationship flourishes when communication is clear.
  2. Honesty is another "make or break" trait: Don't give someone any reasons to doubt you.
  3. Trust and trustworthiness allow relationships to deepen.
  4. Taking responsibility for actions and behavior. Long-term healthy relationships require a high level of maturity. Without it, disagreements and conflict worsen as couples engage in the “blame game.” Communication fails and emotional damage can be done that cannot be easily repaired.

Traits of Relational Sensitivity

  1. Women need men to show kindness, patience, understanding, empathy, and compassion. Regardless of the type of relationship, men and women should be considerate of each other's feelings. Recognize that a partner’s trials and tribulations matter to her and that partners’ roles are to cherish and care for and about one another.
  2. Friendship between men and women is also desired. Being a friend to your partner means treating her in the patient, accepting manner in which you treat other close friends.
  3. Emotional maturity is essential. It’s okay to have some childish fun when it’s appropriate, but it’s important for women and men to behave like grown-ups when it’s time to do so, too. Being aware that brute strength does not equal intelligence is also helpful in maintaining healthy communication and connection. Sometimes it’s better to sit back and think through problems before trying to manhandle your partner into a forced solution.
  4. Being supportive of the women in your life can do a world of good. Supporting your partner is a primary role. Whether your partner or a friend needs emotional or practical support, be there to assist in small and big ways. Whether it’s taking time to listen, or more active involvement in major decisions, child-rearing, finances, etc., make your presence a positive and supportive one.
  5. Sensitivity, coupled with validation of your partner's experiences, is essential. The cultural experiences of adults vary greatly based on gender identity. Recognize your own biases in how you view other women and imagine how your partner might be negatively affected by a world that sees women as less than. Don’t assume she is making things up when she shares stories of prejudice, discrimination, or unfair treatment. Gender roles constrain behavior; playing a part in breaking down harmful gender roles at home and in the workplace benefits both men and women. Don’t make women jump a higher bar to prove themselves – women and men should be afforded the same rewards for the same investment. Gender shouldn’t be a disadvantage in a relationship or a workplace.

Types of Satisfying Intimacy With Romantic Partners

  1. Bring adventure and excitement into the relationship, in safe and welcome ways. Challenge your partner’s perspectives and allow your own to be challenged as well. Open yourself up to new experiences and ways of thinking as you make it safe and inviting for your partner to do the same. Intellectual stimulation keeps relationships dynamic.
  2. Companionship and partnership go along with friendship and create the glue that keeps most long-term relationships moving forward. No one realizes how little energy they might have for sexual activities once kids arrive, or jobs demand longer hours, or illness or disability occur; there will be times when loyal companionship is what both of you need most from each other.
  3. Saying “I love you” may not be easy; these words can be highly charged. Sadly, some people believe that saying them makes them vulnerable and more likely to be hurt. Your partner, though, deserves to be made aware of your love. If saying those three words just isn’t going to happen, make sure you show your partner love in ways that matter most to her. We all need to feel loved.
  4. As for sex, women ask that men don’t make everything about sex – i.e., don’t do favors that you assume will result in sexual favors being done for you. Your good behavior should not be viewed simply as a means towards a particular end. Good sex can’t be bought, and by expecting sex as a payoff for doing something that pleases your partner, you turn a potentially romantic encounter into more of a business deal. Few and far between are the women who want to feel that they owe sex to a partner.
  5. Sexual activities that are geared to pleasing your partner, not just yourself, are what your partners need you to provide. Sex should be a fun adventure that allows partners to explore and expand their sexual connection, not just a repetition of the same old, same old. As one participant shared, “Men need to ditch the myth of female sexual purity once and for all: With the right partner, women enjoy sex every bit as much as a man.”

What Everyone Deserves

Women need the men in their lives to be feminist allies who want to see the women in their lives succeed every bit as much as they want to enjoy their own success. Men should take time to recognize and acknowledge a woman's strengths and respect her for all that she brings to their relationship. And when it comes to romantic connection, women want the same things men want; they might just want them in a different order.

15 Things Women Want From the Men in Their Lives (2024)

FAQs

What does a woman want from a man most? ›

When a man is honest and trustworthy, he instantly becomes more appealing and desirable to a woman. If he's dependable, truthful, genuine, and speaks from the heart, he's a guy who is worth pursuing, as people can take him at his word. "Trust and trustworthiness allow relationships to deepen," says Degges-White.

What a woman needs from his man? ›

A woman must feel her man loves her, deeply, intimately, wholly, and fully. She must feel your love wrap around her heart the same way your arms enwrap her body. She needs to feel adored, wanted, and cherished. She wants to know your admiration is always reserved for her, and only her (if you're monogamous).

What women want in a man summary? ›

If you ask the average guy what women want, he may say things like confidence, money, or ridiculous good looks, but all of these things are just the tip of the iceberg. Security. If you can communicate to a woman that you're a man that can offer her security in the world, she will give you her heart and more.

What are five things girls should expect from boys? ›

10 Things Girls REALLY Want From Guys
  • We want little surprises. ...
  • We want to be able to talk to you. ...
  • We want you to care about us. ...
  • We want you to believe in us. ...
  • We want to feel appreciated. ...
  • We want to feel like we're a team. ...
  • We want you to stand up for us. ...
  • We want you to pick us up when we fall.

What are the top 10 emotional needs? ›

And almost all those I interviewed described one or more of only ten emotional needs as being most important to them (admiration, affection, intimate conversation, domestic support, family commitment, financial support, honesty and openness, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship and sexual fulfillment).

What are the five needs of a man? ›

Those five needs are admiration, physical attractiveness, recreational companionship, sexual fulfillment and domestic support.

How to make a woman fall madly in love with you? ›

How To Make a Girl Fall For You: 20 Simple Strategies
  1. Work on yourself & have your own life. ...
  2. Be optimistic. ...
  3. Keep the conversation going. ...
  4. Respect her as an equal. ...
  5. Be her friend and make it fun. ...
  6. Take it slow – things will fall in place. ...
  7. Be chivalrous. ...
  8. Give her all your attention.
Apr 23, 2018

How to make a woman feel wanted? ›

But they're good to remember and go a long way in building desire.
  1. Make out. ...
  2. Say “Thank you.” And be specific. ...
  3. React to their little victories. ...
  4. Prioritize eye contact. ...
  5. Listen as your partner talks about something they're super passionate about. ...
  6. Give them a hug. ...
  7. Cook together. ...
  8. Flirt.
Feb 9, 2022

What are the four things women want from a man quotes? ›

Maturity, decisiveness, consistency, and strength—these are the four things women want and need most from a man.

What she wants in a man? ›

9 Features That Truly Attract Women
  • Good Hygiene. ...
  • A Good Sense of Humor. ...
  • A Good Fashion Sense. ...
  • Confidence. ...
  • Respect to Women. ...
  • A Man With a Good Work Ethic. ...
  • Kindness and Generousity. ...
  • A Man Who Isn't Afraid of His Emotions.
Aug 6, 2023

Do guys test you by ignoring? ›

Yes, some guys might employ the tactic of ignoring as a form of testing someone's interests or feelings. This behavior is often referred to as "testing the waters" or playing hard to get.

What does every woman want in a man? ›

One of the main qualities a woman wants in a man is honesty and reliability. She would want someone who can support her, be there for her, and who means what he says. A dishonest and unreliable man will keep disappointing his partner and show that they don't value the relationship at all.

What does a girl want from a guy? ›

Girls like guys that show respect to them, their friends, and other people. Support her dreams and desires. Be willing to help her along the way to achieving her goals. It is important for girls to know that they have someone who is in their corner and will provide encouragement when they want to do something.

What does a woman expect from a man? ›

Women need men to show kindness, patience, understanding, empathy, and compassion. Regardless of the type of relationship, men and women should be considerate of each other's feelings.

What is the number one thing a man wants in a woman? ›

Confidence. Confidence is the #1 thing men find sexy in women. Men tend to find it particularly alluring when a woman knows who she is and what she brings to the table.

What is a women's favorite part of a man? ›

Defined, strong arms

In a HerCampus.com survey of over 100 college women across the country, a majority ranked arms as their biggest turn on. Women feel it's a sign that you take good care of your body and admitted they love to see a hint of a man's biceps through his t-shirt or sweater.

What can you offer to a woman? ›

Love, care, consistency, honesty, partnership, consideration, protection, affirmation, affection, his skill set, his talents, his service, his prayer, his strength, his support, his problem solving, and his intellect. And that's just a generic list.

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