It’s normal to worry from time to time. Given life's many unknowns and challenges, worry is a natural response to many situations. However, chronic and all-consuming worry can be troublesome and interfere with our ability to function freely and calmly in our daily lives.
At a Glance
Thinking about the future is normal, but lying awake at night fretting about upcoming events isn't healthy. If you are trying to stop worrying about the future:
- Acknowledge your feelings
- Set realistic, manageable goals
- Avoiding fortune telling
- Be realistic about the risks
- Limiting worry time
- Practice relaxation techniques
- Live in the moment
- Talk to a friend
- Seek professional help
Let's explore more helpful tips to reduce your worrisome and negative thoughts.
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This episode of The Verywell Mind Podcast shares how to stop worrying about things you can't control. Click below to listen now.
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Acknowledge Your Feelings
While you might be tempted to tell yourself, "Don't worry," this usually isn't a helpful strategy. Trying not to think about someone often makes it loom even larger in your mind.
Instead of denying your thoughts, acknowledge them. Accept that these worries are real without judging or trying to change them. This doesn't mean that you're giving up or resigning yourself to a life of worry. Instead, it means that you are aware of what you are feeling.
Sometimes, simply labeling your feelings can help those emotions and worries seem less intense.
Understand Why You Worry About the Future
Stress is a natural response to uncertainty. When we're in a new situation or facing confusing circ*mstances, it's normal to feel worried about what the future may hold. These feelings help us anticipate what may come and may even motivate us. In small amounts, stress can be beneficial.
When that stress becomes chronic, however, we may start to see negative effects on our mental and physical well-being. Worrying too much can also cause us to avoid the things we find stressful, which can worsen anxiety.
People who worry chronically may also perceive things differently from others. They may anticipate that negative things will happen more often and may show a heightened response to real and perceived threats.
Recap
Some amount of stress and worry are normal, but chronic anxiety about the future can have a detrimental effect on your health and well-being.
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Avoid Fortune Telling
When you find yourself worrying about a future event because you are picturing a negative outcome, you are, in effect, saying, "I can predict the future." But, the fact is, you can’t, and you are worried about what may happen, not what will happen. Worry itself serves no purpose unless it spurs a plan of action.
So how can you stop fortune telling? Behavioral experiments are one way to test out your negative predictions. Instead of trying to predict the future, take action. Intentionally put yourself in the situation you are worried about to see if your predictions come true.
As you gain more experience and see that your predictions are not accurate predictors of reality, your feelings of worry and anxiety will gradually begin to diminish.
Analyze the Risks
If your mind has been taken over by chronic worry, your risk assessment skills may be distorted. You may even find yourself consumed with worry about future possibilities when there isn’t any real evidence that the negative event will actually come to pass.
For example, perhaps you constantly worry about your job performance and fear being fired, but you have received no indication from your boss, or anyone else, that you’re not performing up to par. Looking at your situation realistically may help you reduce your worry.
Schedule Time to Worry
Some people find it helpful to schedule 15 to 30 minutes each day just to worry. If worrisome thoughts creep in at any other time, put them aside by telling yourself you have a scheduled time to worry. Your goal is to worry only during your scheduled 30 minutes each day.
By setting aside a specific block of time just to worry, you can prevent these worries from creeping into your thoughts during the day. This may help you feel less stressed and can give you the incentive you need to tackle those problems during your designated worry time.
Live in the Moment
One way to stop worrying about the future is to focus more on the present. Mindfulness is a practice that can help people pay more attention to the here and now. It involves focusing on the present moment and building a greater self-awareness of how you feel in the moment.
You can practice mindfulness by paying more attention to what is happening at the moment. Notice how you feel and focus on sensory experiences. Be present and take these feelings. If you start to experience worrying thoughts, notice and acknowledge them before returning your attention to the moment.
As you practice this, you'll get better at controlling your attention and focusing on what's in front of you instead of stressing out about things that haven't happened yet.
Identify and Replace Worrisome Thoughts
Write down your worrisome and distressful thoughts. Alongside each worrisome thought, list some positive substitution statements.
For example, if you worry that your plane may crash during upcoming air travel, you may counter this thought with: "Statistically, air travel is safe. Professional and competent airline staff are in control, and I can just relax and enjoy my trip."
You can also try using thought-stopping to quiet your worrisome mind.
Learn and Practice Relaxation Techniques
By learning and practicing relaxation techniques, you will be able to reduce intrusive worry. Some techniques that may be helpful include:
- Deep breathing
- Guided imagery
- Journaling
- Meditation
- Progressive muscle relaxation (PMR)
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Talk to a Friend
Social support can also be important when you are dealing with stress and worry. A friend can listen to your worries and may even be able to help problem-solve the issues you are dealing with. In other cases, you might just need a distraction from whatever it is that's stressing you out.
Before you start your conversation, it can be helpful to let your friend know what you need. Tell them if you just need someone to listen, to help, or to take your mind off of your troubles.
One thing to be wary of, however, is the tendency to co-ruminate with friends. Such discussions, where you talk about an issue endlessly without getting any closer to a solution, can magnify your worries. If you find yourself engaging in this type of contagious worry, look for ways to redirect the conversation toward something more productive and helpful.
Getting Help
If chronic worrying is getting in the way of your everyday life, it may be time to seek professional help. A therapist may be able to help you get to the bottom of your worrying and learn skills and techniques to cope.
Ask your doctor for a referral or do an online search for a therapist in your area who specializes in cognitive-behavioral therapy (CBT). CBT is a technique that can help you identify and change negative thoughts that contribute to stress, worry, and anxiety. Online therapy can also be effective.
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Keep in Mind
Worry is a normal part of life, but chronic or excessive worry can negatively impact your health and well-being. Learning stress-reduction and relaxation techniques can help you get the symptoms of chronic worrying under control.
Cognitive skills like avoiding fortune-telling, replacing negative thoughts, and scheduling a time to worry can also offer benefits. If you are experiencing chronic anxiety about the future, therapy can support you through the process of learning new coping skills.
How to Stop Worrying
