A Top Cause of Divorce: Lack of Physical Intimacy In a Relationship (2024)

“According to various studies, the 4 most common causes of divorce are lack of commitment, infidelity or extramarital affairs, too much conflict and arguing, and lack of physical intimacy.” (1) If you’ve tried everything to increase this crucial aspect of your marriage, but your partner refuses to engage in any meaningful physical connection, you have legal options. But before heading down that road, you may wish to consider the effects of lack of physical intimacy in a relationship and how to heal the issues in your marriage.

This blog will explore the detrimental impact of a lack of physical intimacy in a relationship and how to move forward with separation and divorce if you decide your marriage is over.

Why is Physical Intimacy Important in a Marriage?

When a romantic relationship, such as a marriage, ends, there are always reasons. Common reasons are often related to the effects of lack of physical intimacy in a relationship. Emotional and physical intimacy matter in most marriages. You are not alone in considering a separation or divorce if this lack of intimacy is a problem your marriage suffers from.

A strong and fulfilling relationship requires more than just shared interests and compatibility. Physical intimacy is an essential aspect of human connection, one that goes beyond mere sexual activity. It encompasses a range of non-sexual acts, such as holding hands, hugging, cuddling, and intimate conversations. How can a relationship survive when there is a lack of intimacy?

Healthy relationships express physical reassurance of emotional closeness, trust, and vulnerability between partners. When physical intimacy diminishes or disappears in a relationship, it can lead to many intimacy problems that gradually contribute to emotional detachment and negative feelings.

In today’s fast-paced world, couples often juggle demanding careers, familial responsibilities, and various obligations that leave little time for nurturing their intimate connection. The consequences of this neglect can be far-reaching, affecting both the mental and physical well-being of individuals and the relationship’s overall health.

Effects of Lack of Physical Intimacy In a Relationship

Studies have shown that a lack of physical intimacy can give rise to feelings of neglect, loneliness, and emotional disconnection. The effects of lack of physical intimacy in a relationship can lead to a breakdown in communication and create an emotional distance between partners. Over time, this void becomes increasingly difficult to bridge, leaving individuals feeling disconnected and unfulfilled in the relationship.

Furthermore, the absence of physical intimacy can create low self-esteem and a lack of self-worth. Human touch releases oxytocin, often called the “love hormone,” crucial in fostering feelings of bonding and security. Without regular doses of this “physically intimate” hormone, individuals may experience a decline in their overall well-being, leading to increased stress, anxiety, and even depression.

Moreover, the lack of physical intimacy can also manifest in other areas of a relationship. It can give rise to resentment, frustration, and a sense of unmet needs. In some cases, individuals may seek fulfillment outside the relationship, leading to infidelity or a breakdown in trust. Thus, the repercussions of neglecting physical intimacy in a relationship can extend far beyond the bedroom, permeating all aspects of a couple’s life.

It is crucial to recognize the significance of physical intimacy and its role in maintaining a healthy and thriving relationship.

In the upcoming sections of this blog, we will explore the effects of a lack of intimacy on individuals and relationships. We will discuss strategies to build emotional intimacy and rekindle this vital connection.

Lack of Emotional Connection Brings Sexual Intimacy Issues

A lack of emotional connection can profoundly impact sexual intimacy within a marriage. Emotional connection serves as the foundation for a healthy and satisfying sexual relationship, as it fosters trust, vulnerability, and open communication between partners.

  • When couples struggle to establish or maintain this emotional bond, it becomes increasingly challenging to bridge the gap in their sexual connection.
  • Without deeply understanding each other’s desires, needs, and emotional states, partners may struggle to express their true selves and experience genuine intimacy.
  • The absence of emotional connection can lead to feelings of detachment, dissatisfaction, and a lack of fulfillment in the bedroom, ultimately causing strain and frustration within the marriage.

Addressing and nurturing the emotional connection between partners is crucial for fostering a fulfilling sexual relationship that thrives on trust, understanding, affection, and mutual satisfaction.

What to Do If Your Marriage Has Lost Emotional Intimacy

If you’ve lost your emotional intimacy within a marriage, it’s important to remember that it’s a common challenge many couples face at some point.

Recognizing the issue and taking proactive steps to address a loss of relationship closeness can help rebuild the emotional bond between you and your partner. Build intimacy levels outside of the bedroom to keep the spark alive and build self-confidence in a spouse. Often, a spouse may feel lonely and miss the essential part of an emotional closeness. This can be a key reason a spouse loses a need for physical intimacy in relationships.

Here are some suggestions on what to do if you find your marriage without the crucial element of a deep sense of emotional closeness:

Open Communication

Start by initiating open and honest conversations with your partner. Express your feelings and concerns regarding your relationship’s lack of emotional intimacy in a calm and non-accusatory manner. Encourage your partner to share their thoughts and emotions as well. Active listening and empathy are key during these discussions to foster understanding and connection.

Seek Out a Professional Therapist

Consider seeking the assistance of a couples therapist or marriage counselor. A trained professional can provide guidance and tools to help you navigate through the challenges, identify underlying issues, and facilitate healthy communication.

Therapy can be a safe space to explore the emotions of a long-term relationship. Both you and your spouse may find ways to rebuild trust and develop strategies to reconnect emotionally.

Prioritize Quality Time

Set aside dedicated time for meaningful interactions and shared activities. Engage in activities you both enjoy that promote bonding, such as going on walks, cooking together, or engaging in hobbies. Use this time to connect on a deeper level, to be present with each other, and to create new positive experiences.

Practice Empathy and Understanding

Make an effort to understand your partner’s perspective and experiences. Show empathy by actively listening and validating their emotions. Demonstrate support and understanding, even if you may not fully agree. This helps create an environment of safety and trust, allowing emotional intimacy to rebuild gradually.

Explore Emotional Vulnerability

Cultivate an environment where vulnerability is encouraged and embraced. Share your fears, dreams, and insecurities with each other. By opening up emotionally, you create opportunities for deeper connection and understanding. This vulnerability fosters empathy and builds emotional intimacy over time.

Physical Affection

Physical touch can help reignite emotional intimacy. Simple acts of affection like hugging, holding hands, or cuddling can generate feelings of closeness and safety. Intimacy doesn’t always have to be sexual; it can be nurtured through non-sexual physical contact as well as sex.

Practice Self-Care

Take care of yourself physically, mentally, and emotionally. Engage in activities that bring joy, reduce stress, and promote well-being. When you prioritize self-care, you’ll be better equipped to contribute positively to the emotional intimacy in your marriage.

If one or both of you face serious mental health or physical issues that may contribute to a decreased sex drive, seek medical advice. Sometimes feeling lonely or sad can stem from the stress of medical depression or even grief from losing a loved one.

Remember, rebuilding emotional intimacy takes time and effort from both partners. Be patient with each other and celebrate small steps forward. Actively work on rebuilding the emotional connection by taking responsibility for your part in enjoying the other partner’s company. By fostering open communication and seeking professional help if needed, you can revitalize the emotional intimacy within your marriage and cultivate a stronger, more fulfilling relationship.

Making a Tough Choice

Only you can decide when your marriage is over and divorce is on the horizon. If you decide that a healthy marriage is no longer possible and your relationship issues eclipse any chance of reconciliation, you may decide to separate.

In North Carolina, separation is a year-long process that married couples must undergo before filing for divorce. During separation, the most common reasons why couples work with attorneys is to settle crucial issues such as:

  • Equitable distribution of assets
  • Spousal support, such as alimony or post-separation support
  • Child custody, visitation, and support

Divorce can be more uncomplicated with an attorney who can help you work through separation and divorce issues. When couples work through issues outside of the courtroom, they can achieve an “uncontested” divorce. This type of divorce is often easier on everyone involved and can help couples agree to disagree, keeping more peace in the process.

An attorney who practices mediation can also facilitate good communication and a positive outcome for you, your ex, and any children.

We Can Help

At Plekan Law, we understand that going through a separation and divorce can be emotionally challenging and overwhelming. Our experienced team of attorneys is here to guide you through the process and advocate for your best interests. We specialize in helping couples achieve an uncontested divorce, working diligently to facilitate effective communication and positive outcomes for all parties involved.

With our expertise in divorce mediation, we can help you and your ex-spouse navigate the complexities of separation and divorce in a respectful and cooperative manner. Our goal is to minimize conflict, preserve relationships, and prioritize the well-being of any children involved.

Choosing the right attorney is crucial when facing separation and divorce. At Plekan Law, we are committed to providing compassionate and personalized legal representation tailored to your unique circ*mstances. Our team is dedicated to helping you achieve a smoother transition. Our goal is for you to start a new chapter in your life with confidence.

Don’t face the challenges of separation and divorce alone. Contact Plekan Law today, and let us support you through this difficult time. Together, we can work towards a resolution that protects your interests and helps you move forward toward a brighter future.

A Top Cause of Divorce: Lack of Physical Intimacy In a Relationship (2024)

FAQs

What happens to a relationship without physical intimacy? ›

Moreover, the lack of physical intimacy can also manifest in other areas of a relationship. It can give rise to resentment, frustration, and a sense of unmet needs. In some cases, individuals may seek fulfillment outside the relationship, leading to infidelity or a breakdown in trust.

What happens to a woman in a sexless relationship? ›

Such marriages can negatively affect women's self-esteem while damaging their emotional satisfaction. For many women, sexuality is seen as a way to establish emotional connection and deepen their relationships. Another sexless marriage effect on a wife is a wandering eye, which can tear her marriage or family apart.

Is lack of physical intimacy grounds for divorce? ›

While withholding sexual intimacy from a spouse is not explicitly listed, it can fall under the category of “desertion,” depending on the details. Desertion can mean there is a willful absence, meaning the absence is not justified by the other partner's conduct, such as abuse or addiction.

What happens when you lack of physical touch in a relationship? ›

The feelings of loneliness and isolation that accompany touch starvation are likely to result in adverse psychological complications. For example, a lack of physical contact may increase feelings of stress, anxiety, and depression. One 2017 study highlights that affectionate touch promotes psychological well-being.

What does lack of physical intimacy do to a man? ›

The impact of the lack of affection on men extends far beyond emotional and psychological realms; it affects their physical well-being as well. Skin hunger, the longing for physical touch, is a genuine need that, when unfulfilled, can lead to various health issues and a diminished sense of overall well-being.

What does lack of physical intimacy do to a woman? ›

When a woman lacks intimacy in marriage, it can have a significant impact on her emotional and physical health. The lack of physical touch, emotional connection, and sexual intimacy can lead to feelings of loneliness, depression, and low self-esteem.

Should you divorce over a sexless marriage? ›

Some couples can stay happily married in a sexless marriage. But there are circ*mstances in which you might want to consider walking away. The warning signs are different for each couple, but they could include: a partner's unwillingness to communicate about why they are disinterested in sex.

How long to stay in sexless marriage? ›

Again, this is not something that is easily generalizable but rather is specific to each person and relationship. Judging by this time window, two months without sex is not necessarily abnormal, though no sex for six months or more can be an overall sign of relationship dysfunction.

Can you sue your spouse for lack of intimacy? ›

A court may find that a spouse has committed constructive abandonment of the marriage when he or she has failed to fulfill the obligations of marriage and has become emotionally and mentally absent from the marriage. Withholding of affection, love, or sexual relations can all be evidence of constructive abandonment.

What do I do when my wife has no desire for intimacy? ›

Consider speaking with a certified sex therapist or marriage counselor. They may help you improve communication, help bring more mindfulness into the relationship, or suggest sex therapy with a sensate focus.

How to tell if a man has intimacy issues? ›

Emotionally, a man with intimacy issues might have trouble expressing himself or letting you see his vulnerable side. Physically, a man with intimacy issues might not want to initiate sex and might struggle with being affectionate. He might seem "cold" or "distant" at times.

How can you tell if someone is touch starved? ›

Some symptoms you may experience are:
  • feelings of loneliness and depression.
  • decreased life satisfaction.
  • fatigue.
  • problems sleeping.
  • stress.
  • anxiety.
Aug 2, 2022

Can a relationship last if there is no physical attraction? ›

In short, yes. You can be in love but not sexually attracted to your partner. Long-term partnerships are complicated. Over time, it's common for people to feel less attracted to their partner.

How long can a relationship last without intimacy? ›

Again, this is not something that is easily generalizable but rather is specific to each person and relationship. Judging by this time window, two months without sex is not necessarily abnormal, though no sex for six months or more can be an overall sign of relationship dysfunction.

Can you love someone without physical intimacy? ›

Love doesn't necessarily start with a physical connection. Sure, we've all heard the stories of individuals being drawn to one other like magnets when they first meet, unable to keep their hands off each other, but this isn't true for every couple.

What do you call a relationship without physical intimacy? ›

If no physical intimacy or sex exists between you and the other person, it is a platonic relationship—even if the desire is there. Platonic Relationship. Involves deep friendship. People involved may or may not have a desire for physical intimacy.

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