How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love? (2024)

By Devon Loomis For GalTime.com

The other day I happened to overhear a conversation between two girls sitting next to me at a restaurant. One of the girls was sharing with her friend how she was scared because she had only been seeing a guy for a month, and he had already told her that he loved her. Her friend expressed the same fear and said that it was a big, red flag. She said that it was way too soon for someone to fall in love, and she had better be careful. This is a conversation and a shared fear that I hear expressed at least once a week.

Every time that I hear this fear expressed, I want to stop what I’m doing and give the people a free lesson on falling in love. Although I’m into philanthropy and giving back, it would be much more efficient to just point them to this article.

HOW LONG IT TAKES TO FALL IN LOVE

Before we get into how long it takes, there are some things we must explore.

WHAT IS FALLING IN LOVE?

For a moment, remember a time when you felt like you were in love with someone. What were you feeling? Although there are plenty of adjectives that you could use, reflect on your heart and sexual energies. If you were to imagine that you have two doors within your body- one with sexual energy and one with heart energy- I’ll bet that both of those doors were open. The reason as to why they were open and how open they were is for another discussion; just notice that they were open.

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The feeling of being in love romantically is nothing more than your mind allowing both your heart and your sexual energies to be receptive. The stronger the feeling of love, the more open you are. How long does it take for the mind to allow these doors to fling open?

HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF THE TERM LOVE AT FIRST SIGHT?

The confusion comes from people subconsciously grouping together love and attachment. Think about it for a moment. When you imagine a couple deeply in love do you not imagine a couple whose hearts and sexual energies are open- with both individuals attached to one another? The problem with us is that as soon as we tap into that feeling of liberation and intense sexual connection, we want to bottle it up and take it home with us.

I don’t know about you, but I’ve fallen in love with many people the first time that I met them. This experience is echoed within our society through music and poetry, so I know that I’m not alone. The thing to consider is that I don’t become attached to those people. I don’t want to possess them. I don’t even feel the need to explore them any longer than during that brief moment that we encountered each other.

SO, HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH SOMEONE? THE BEST ANSWER: ONE SECOND.

How long does it take to become attached to someone? For many people, it only takes a few weeks. It depends on the level of sexual interaction.

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HOW LONG DOES IT TAKE TO CREATE A DEEP, AUTHENTIC BOND? MUCH LONGER.

I’d like to add here that attachment can be both healthy and unhealthy, but that’s for another discussion. Getting back to the original question of this article, if someone says that they love you right away, it could be a red flag, but it also may not be. It’s a matter of exploring what exactly that person means by love. Are they open to you and feeling that sensation of liberation and love, or are they becoming unhealthily attached? In either case, if you ever find yourself in this type of situation, continue to explore and examine what you and the other person are truly feeling. If they say that they are becoming attached to you right away, that, for sure, is a red flag and you should proceed with extreme caution.

More from GalTime.com:

Devon Loomis is a relationship coach and is passionate about inspiring new conversations around romantic love. He is known as The Relationship Coach and is the person many counselors, coaches, and therapist turn to for help with their own romantic lives. For more information visit TheRelationshipCoach.com.

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Related

How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love? (2024)

FAQs

How Long Does It Take To Fall In Love? ›

Falling in love typically takes a few months. Love at first sight

Love at first sight
Love at first sight is a personal experience and a common theme in creative works: a person or character feels an instant, extreme, and ultimately long-lasting romantic attraction for a stranger upon first seeing that stranger. It has been described by poets and critics since the emergence of ancient Greece.
https://en.wikipedia.org › wiki › Love_at_first_sight
is likely an expression of strong lust or physical desire that transforms over time into romantic love for each other. There is no definitive time frame for falling in love, though about 3–4 months may be a rough average, according to limited research.

How quickly do you fall in love? ›

The average time for men to fall in love is 88 days, while those same feelings of true love take women 134 days. Another dating site, Elite Singles, did a poll in 2017 and found that 61 per cent of women believe in love at first sight, while 72 per cent of men do. These surveys focused on heterosexual relationships.

How do you know if you are falling in love? ›

When you're in love with someone, you'll start to develop strong compassion for them. The powerful urge to be connected to this person brings new aspects to your relationship, such as emotional or physical intimacy, passion, and a desire to know everything about them, and be known by them in return.

What is the 3 month rule? ›

The three month dating rule is a trial period that allows couples to shift from the honeymoon phase of dating to an integrated love phase. "What I mean by that is usually a few months into dating, we start to see some of the quirks, or maybe we start to notice things that we find annoying or irritating," Pharaon says.

How soon is too soon to say I love you? ›

It depends on the person and the situation (there's no one right way to date or love someone!) but typically, experts recommend waiting to say "I love you" until at least three months into the relationship. Why? Well for starters, "love at first sight," is rarely how love works outside of romantic comedies.

How quickly do men fall in love? ›

“Research suggests that men might fall in love faster than women,” Homan says. “A study in the Journal of Social Psychology found that men reported feeling love after just a few weeks, whereas women often took a few months.”

What are the 7 steps of falling in love? ›

Love is an emotional attachment that differs in meaning depending on whether the relationship is between family, friends, lovers, a hobby or a deity. According to ancient literature, there are said to be seven stages of love: Attraction, infatuation, love, reverence, worship, obsession and death.

Can you fall in love in 2 weeks? ›

How long does it really take to fall in love? According to Katie Ziskind, a holistic licensed marriage and family therapist in Niantic, Connecticut, it can take between 2 weeks and 4 months to love someone. But it may take longer before a person actually considers telling their partner they love them.

How do you tell if a man is falling for you? ›

A man who's falling in love can hint at his desire for greater closeness and intimacy in many different ways. You may notice that he's prioritizing you, opening up more, and working hard to make you happy. He might show you his softer side, while also serving as a source of strength and comfort when you need it most.

How to tell if a guy is slowly falling for you? ›

Subtle Hints That He's Starting to Fall Head Over Heels in Love with You
  • 1 He initiates contact.
  • 2 He's being more affectionate.
  • 3 He gives you lots of compliments.
  • 4 He worries about you.
  • 5 He talks about you.
  • 6 He asks you about yourself.
  • 7 He wants to know about your love life.
  • 8 He listens when you talk.

What is the 3 6 9 rule in dating? ›

The rule suggests that in the first few months of dating: - You should be texting/calling every three days. - You should want to see each other every six days. - You should be having sex every nine days.

How long is the honeymoon phase? ›

The honeymoon phase is an early part of a couple's relationship where everything seems carefree and happy. It usually lasts from six months to two years and can be marked with lots of laughs, intimacy, and fun dates.

What is the 3 month kiss rule? ›

Dating gurus on TikTok recommend a new rule to weed out incompatible partners. They call it the three-month rule, where people can evaluate potential partners for 90 days. They recommend not exclusively dating someone — or even kissing them — for these first months.

How fast is too fast in a relationship? ›

If you plan multiple dates in the same week with one person, can't go long without texting or calling them, or just got out of another relationship, you could be moving too fast. "We should take our time to know a person and make sure they are who they appear to be," Sussman said.

How long in a relationship before kissing? ›

Many people will share some form of kiss on a first date, but it might be more of a peck than a snog. Though some will feel ready for a full on smooch if the chemistry is right. Others might wish to wait until date number two or three before they lock lips with someone.

What does love bombing look like? ›

Often, love bombing happens at the beginning of a relationship, when two people are getting to know each other. This might look like: Over-the-top praise and flattery. Staying in constant contact through texts, calls or social media.

Can you fall in love with someone so quickly? ›

Falling in love quickly can be normal or a sign of an underlying concern, such as an insecure attachment style or low self-esteem.

Can a guy fall in love right away? ›

Current scientific details support the idea that, in many cases, men may fall in love more quickly than women tend to do. A survey of more than 170 college students suggested that male respondents reported both feeling love and saying “I love you” at earlier stages in their relationships than females.

How long does it take for a guy to know he wants to be with you? ›

While this usually happens after a couple of months (around 10 dates) it's ultimately subjective. Don't rush things: have fun, look for the above signs, and talk to him when it feels right. A guy who likes you will pay attention to you. He'll make an effort to talk to you, be playful, and joke around with you.

How do you know you've found the one? ›

Jo shared her top three signs to help you know when you've found the one: The relationship flows and it's easy, it has been since you met. There is a mutual respect and admiration beyond attraction. You think similarly and can discuss things at great length, never getting bored.

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