How to Communicate with a Deceased Loved One (2024)

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Co-authored byJennifer McVey, Chtand Aly Rusciano

Last Updated: March 16, 2024Fact Checked

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   Write them a letter. Tell your loved one everything you never got to say. Addressing a letter to them where you pour out all your feelings is a cathartic and therapeutic coping mechanism. You’re releasing your built-up emotions and giving yourself space to process your grief.^[1] Clearing your head this way can help you see hidden messages you may not have been able to see before.

   • Write about your day or what you wish you could have told them before they passed.
   • Burn your letter and watch as the embers and smoke carry your message through the air.
   • Bring your letter to a location that reminds you of them.
   • If writing a letter you can’t mail brings more pain than solace, try dedicating a journal to your loved one. This is another way to put your feelings and thoughts into the world for them to hear.
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   Talk to them out loud. One of the best grief coping mechanisms is talking to your loved one like they never left. Go to their gravesite and tell them about your day, or pull out an empty chair and imagine they’re sitting next to you. This can be a comforting way to feel their presence and resolve any disbelief regarding their passing.^[2]

   • Grief isn’t a linear path. There are ups and downs, and some days may be harder than others—that’s normal.
   • If talking out loud to your loved one isn’t something you can do, that’s okay. Take everything one day at a time.

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   Wear something of theirs. This is a comforting and easy way to feel close to your loved one. When you need their guidance, put on a piece of clothing you inherited or they bought for you. This serves as a physical reminder that, although your loved one isn’t physically with you, their memory lives on inside you.^[3]

   • Style their clothes in new and fashionable ways.
   • If you don’t have any clothing from them, try jewelry or keeping a picture of them in your wallet.
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   Ask yourself what your loved one would do. This is a great way to hear their voice, feel their presence, and get a message from them. Close your eyes and imagine you just told them what’s on your mind. How would they respond? Your next thought could be a message from them.^[4]

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   Go somewhere that reminds you of them. Visiting one of their favorite places is a great way to feel their presence. Not only does this celebrate your loved one’s life, but it helps you remember them. You’ll be making new memories while remembering their legacy.^[5] And who knows? You may end up learning something new about them just by standing where they once stood.

   • You can also take a trip somewhere they always wanted to go. You’d be taking their memory to their dream destination.
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   Talk about them with other people. Your loved one lives on through you and the stories you share. Keeping their legacy alive is a way to remember and cherish the beautiful life they had. Telling stories they’ve passed down to you or sharing your own can trigger memories and open your eyes to messages.

   • This also gives others permission to talk about your loved one, passing on their legacy for generations to come.^[6]
   • Ask your loved one’s friends or family members to tell you their favorite stories about them. Who knows? You may learn something new about them!
   • Collect stories in a memory book or by recording them, so you can revisit them whenever you like.
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   Commemorate them on special days. Remembering the good times you had together and celebrating those special days can lift your spirits and bring you closer to them. This will help you, your friends, and family feel connected to the deceased, igniting old memories and sparking new ones.

   • Plan a birthday party for them even after they're gone, inviting all your family and friends and serving your loved one’s favorite foods and drinks.
   • Host a party to watch your loved one’s favorite sports team, wearing their favorite player’s jersey.
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   Do something they used to love. Cooking, crafting, or thrifting can help you connect with your loved one. Actively doing an activity they used to enjoy, specifically one you used to do together, can be comforting and reassuring.^[7] While you do what they loved, think about them and welcome all thoughts and feelings. These could be messages for them.

   • Finish a project they weren’t able to finish.
   • Flip through recipe books for their favorite handwritten dishes.
   • Try playing their favorite sport or learning their favorite dance.
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   Use technology to hear their voice. Nowadays, there are ways to preserve your loved one’s voice and legacy, all with the click of a button. Check out these ways you can remember them through the power of the internet:^[8]

   • Read through old texts and listen to saved voicemails. Thanks to technology, you can continue to hear their voice.
   • Keep their social media accounts active. Use their page to post pictures and quotes that honor their life.
   • Post about them on your social media accounts. Keep their memory alive by wishing them a happy birthday or sharing a post you know they’d like.
   • Apps such as SafeBeyond let your loved one schedule texts to send you after they’ve passed. Your loved one writes messages and schedules when you’ll receive them.^[9]
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    Contact a spirit guide. If you believe in the spiritual world, you may find solace in seeking help from a medium, psychic, or empath. Ask them to communicate with your loved one and see what messages they bring forth.

    • Prayer and meditation is another great way to connect to yourself and the spiritual world.

    

    Bill Guggenheim, After-death Communication Expert

    When a loved one passes away, the grief can feel unbearable. But sometimes they find ways to connect with us from beyond, offering comfort and hope. You may suddenly feel their presence close by, a gentle touch on your shoulder, or see meaningful signs that seem too fitting to be coincidence. These moments, as brief as they are, reassure us that the bonds of love continue. Though they are physically gone, our loved ones remain in spirit. Stay open to their messages, however subtle. Listen with your heart.

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   Pay attention to your dreams. Your loved one may bring a message in a visitation dream. These are emotionally intense dreams where someone who recently passed appears to provide guidance. Each dream is a personal experience unique to you, so you’re the only one who can truly interpret it. Here are some signs that you’ve had a visitation dream:^[10]

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   • The dream is unusually vivid, as if it truly happened.
   • Your loved one appears healthy and possibly even younger.
   • Your loved one is reassuring and ensures you everything will be okay.
   • Your loved one tells you something important and gives you words of wisdom.
   • Your loved one communicates telepathically.
   • You wake up with intense emotions and may feel joy, love, confusion, relief, or sadness.
   • You feel uplifted when you wake up, as the dream has helped you process your grief.
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   Be aware of objects randomly turning up. A message could come across as something odd or peculiar. Have you stumbled across more coins than usual? Do these items remind you of your loved one? This could be a message of prosperity or encouragement.^[11]

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   Notice any sudden aromas. A scent that triggers a memory could be a sign your loved one is near. Maybe you walk past a bakery and suddenly remember baking cookies with them, or you light a candle that brings back happy childhood memories.^[12]

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   Keep an eye on your pets. Animals are extremely sensitive and inquisitive when it comes to the supernatural. Has your dog been watching something that’s not there? Do they wag their tail happily and play when no one’s around? Unusual behavior in pets could be a sign that your loved one’s spirit is lingering.^[13]

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   Stay aware of malfunctioning electronics. Your loved one might capture your attention by playing with electricity. Blown lightbulbs and spotty internet are often seen as signs of supernatural activity. If technology seems to be your worst enemy right now, it may be because your loved one is trying to tell you something.^[14]

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   Keep an ear out for familiar tunes. Does your loved one’s favorite song play the moment you start thinking about them? This could be more than just a coincidence. They could be saying, “I miss you too.”^[15]

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