The How-to-Kiss Guide (2024)

So, you’re looking to switch up how you smooch. Cool!

One of the (many) fun things about kissing is that — like most acts related to intimacy — how to kiss always holds room for more exploration. Maybe you feel you’ve already got your moves down pat. Or maybe you’re a little newer to the art of how to kiss someone. Either way, there are going to be tactics you probably haven’t tried yet. And, as far as trial and error goes, we’re pretty sure there are worse things to spend your time experimenting on.

Also on the error front, if you’re wondering how to be a good kisser, let’s get one thing clear: There are no bad kissers. There are some bad kisses, and we’ve all had or will have a few of those. (Cut to a scene of me during my last one, when I —after an unexpected, extra-wet kiss I didn’t see coming —let out a flustered laugh in the person’s face. Which is something I am, despite my current choice to digitally immortalize this moment, not exactly proud of.)

Basically, what I’m saying is: We all have our semi-sloppy moments. Don’t sweat them! Kissing is, and should be, fun, and if you really want to get a degree in how to kiss well, you could always take a Masterclass. (Seriously, there’s a Masterclass on how to kiss.) For the rest of us, we’ve rounded up pucker-worthy pieces of advice for how to kiss better(hint: it involves more than your lips), as well as the tragically common advice you should steer clear of (which definitely involves your tongue.)

1. Build up to the kiss.

Before, boom!, cutting straight to laying a wet one on the other party —which you’ll be avoiding anyway, thanks to Step No. 2 — let the tension build. Maintaining direct eye contact and, if you’re standing or sitting near each other, leaning in closer can go a long way here. Pay attention to their, and your, body language. Have your voices dropped? Have their eyes flickered down to your lips? And, speaking of lips, have you noticed them biting theirs? Ensure there’s some time to enjoy the tension before you act on it.

2. Make sure the kiss has your, and the other party’s, consent.

The chatting has faded, and there’s been a —though it feels weird to say in this context —pregnant pause. Worried about breaking the mood by speaking? A well-timed “Can I kiss you?” or “I’d really love to kiss you right now” does the exact opposite of that. While getting your partner’s consent and signaling respect, it also signals take-control-of-the-situation confidence that, honestly, makes this a move in and of itself.

3. Start things slow.

While a makeout session that becomes fast and aggressive is plenty fun, rarely does it work to immediately start out on that note. It can be something you work up to —quickly, slowly or never — but let the first kiss, before you’ve found your rhythm, be a slower and gentler one, using lighter pressure.

4. Keep your mouth soft and relaxed.

We mean this literally — are your lips adequately balmed up? — and also, well, again literally. Both a cranked-open jaw and a closed-mouth, hard pucker aren’t the most pleasant to smooch. Keep your lips just-apart enough, allowing the kisses to be soft and deep, and keep your mouth relaxed. You want to see where the kiss takes you.

5. Switch your area of focus and/or your speed.

Ready to extend the kiss into a longer makeout session? Try gradually picking up speed, using varying degrees of pressure, or shifting your focus between lips, from top to bottom. While you’re focused on the bottom, try giving it a little —emphasis on little, unless you and your partner have already had pain-as-pleasure conversations indicating otherwise —nibble, bite or tug.

6. Speaking of area of focus —move things away from their lips.

Lips are great and all. But letting your mouth travel away from them for a while is fun, too. Other spots that make for good kissing destinations include: their jawbone; their ears, including the spot just behind the lobes; their collarbone; and their neck, including the back of the neck.

All of these are easy to reach, with a light trail of kisses to get you there, from your partner’s mouth, and odds are they’ll find it just as (or even more) enjoyable as a lip-to-lip smooch. While there are some standard feel-good zones on the body, including the above ones, everyone has their own preferences. Ask your partner if they have any erogenous zones they’d like special attention paid to, and see if you can notice areas where they’re more sensitive — in a good way — while kissing.

7. Go easy on the tongue.

This doesn’t necessarily mean hold off on using tongue altogether. But, in general, tongues tend to take up more than their fair share of space in how-to-kiss conversations.

The How-to-Kiss Guide (2024)

FAQs

What is the average age for a first kiss? ›

Though the average age for young people to experience a first kiss is fifteen, there is absolutely no reason to rush into it because “everyone else is doing it” or you want to feel “normal.” After all, what good is a kiss if it comes with a side of regret?

How to get the perfect kiss? ›

  1. Build up to the kiss. ...
  2. 2. Make sure the kiss has your, and the other party's, consent. ...
  3. Start things slow. ...
  4. Keep your mouth soft and relaxed. ...
  5. Switch your area of focus and/or your speed. ...
  6. Speaking of area of focus — move things away from their lips. ...
  7. Go easy on the tongue. ...
  8. Don't overthink it.
Dec 16, 2021

Where do guys like to be kissed? ›

Most guys enjoy kissing on the mouth. Once you're comfortable with light kisses on the lips, try moving on to deeper and more intimate kisses, like the French kiss. If you're both bored with kissing on the lips, try kissing him in other places, like on his forehead, cheek, or shoulder.

Where to touch him while hugging? ›

You can put both arms around his neck and keep one palm gently on the nape of his neck. If your arms are around his neck, run your fingers softly through the hair at the base of his neck. If your arms are around his torso, rub his back gently. A behind-the-back hug can also be a good way to hug a guy hello.

How should a 13 year old kiss? ›

Slowly bring your mouth toward theirs, and close your eyes when you get close. Instead of going all the way in for the kiss, stop when you get about 1 in (2.5 cm) or so away so they can reciprocate. If you move your head in the same direction as your partner, you may bump heads.

How to make kissing sexier? ›

If you want spicier kissing tips, here are some other suggestions:
  1. Make some noise (read: soft moans). “It can trigger sexual desire and be arousing to a partner,” says Chavez.
  2. Get handsy. ...
  3. Suck on your partner's tongue and lips. ...
  4. Nibble or bite. ...
  5. Move your kisses down lower.
Mar 17, 2020

Which lip should a man kiss? ›

You kiss the woman, not the lip. Doesn´t matter if upper or lower. Just kiss the girl, and give her your passion. Do it softly first, and then you increase the power, according to her response.

How can I be the best kisser ever? ›

Scientific ways to be a better kisser
  1. Have a drink (in moderation) Cheers to a great kiss! ...
  2. Tilt your head the right way. Going right is the right way to go. ...
  3. Get your timing right. ...
  4. Check your breath. ...
  5. Get more aggressive if you're kissing a guy. ...
  6. Tone it down if you're kissing a woman. ...
  7. Get into it. ...
  8. Make it memorable.
Jun 12, 2017

How can I be irresistible to kiss? ›

Focus on What you Have in Common. Remember, similarity breeds attraction. We're simply more attracted to people who are like us and share our interests and values, so focus on what you have in common. It will give you something to talk about, reduce those pre-kiss nerves and make you instantly more kissable.

Do guys feel butterflies when kissing? ›

Yes, Of course anyone can get That feeling by Kissing/hugging. Because kissing may include lust (somehow) but not hugging.

How do you give a guy a butterfly? ›

Here are a few ideas:
  1. Show your appreciation for him and let him know how much he means to you.
  2. Plan a surprise date or weekend getaway.
  3. Cook a special meal or bake his favorite dessert.
  4. Write him a heartfelt letter or note expressing your feelings.
  5. Show interest in his hobbies and passions.
Dec 13, 2022

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