One of the first commandments of marriage is selflessness. If you base your relationship on the needs of your spouse, you will surely find happiness. And if you truly love your wife, then you want to make her happy.
Marriage therapist Willard F. Harley Jr. believes that women have 5 basic needs. Obviously every woman is different, but years of research showed that these are what they preferred on average.
AFFECTION
This one might just rank as high as “Sexual Fulfillment” ranks on the husband’s list. Women need affection in a myriad of ways. You may cringe at the term “public displays of affection” or PDA, but the truth is your wife just needs you to hold her hand. We don’t want to make out in front of strangers any more than you do, but an arm around your wife’s shoulders or a gentle and loving touch shows that she’s your #1. Let her know you’re proud to be her husband.
CONVERSATION
Women like to talk. Shocker, I know. It’s actually a basic and binding way for them to express themselves. And if you have children, your wife may just need some adult conversation. Men, when you tune out, it makes women feel like you don’t care. And women, when we ramble, men tend to tune out. Strong relationships are built on deep and meaningful conversation; real communication. So if you’re wife says she wants to talk, turn off the TV, put down your phone, and open your ears.
HONESTY AND OPENNESS
To have a completely honest and open marriage, there needs to be rules. Generally, most women feel some type of insecurity in their marriage. These days virtually everything is guarded by a password. Your spouse should know your passwords. Whether it’s for a personal bank account, social media accounts, or simply the code to open your phone, you shouldn’t have anything to hide. If you find yourself in a situation where you’re alone with the opposite sex, send your wife a quick text just to let her know. Many may argue that these methods violate your individual privacy, but guess what? Marriage isn’t about you.
FINANCIAL SUPPORT
Is money evil? No. It’s necessary. The love of money? That’s another issue. The need for financial support doesn’t mean your wife is a materialistic or greedy gal. In fact, the most successful and financially stable people are those who are known as thrifty, frugal, and cheap. They know how to pinch their pennies, and their wives are happier for it.
FAMILY COMMITMENT
In my single days, if you would have asked me what I wanted in a guy, I probably would have said a sense of humor, a sexy smile, and a loving heart. Those are some of my favorite attributes my husband possesses, but when I saw how important family was to him, I fell hard. In our years together, my hubby has turned down career and financial opportunities to spend more time with family. He is mindful of us in his every thought and every decision. He puts family first. And there’s nothing sexier than that.
Whether your marriage is on the rocks or strong as nails, it will absolutely benefit from examining these needs and applying them to your marriage. Always strive to give your spouse the very best of yourself.
This article first appeared on Becky Squire.
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FAQs
She needs honesty and openness.
A woman needs a man who will look into her eyes and, in love, tell her what he is really thinking. He will explain his plans and actions clearly and completely to her because he regards himself as responsible for her. He wants her to trust him and feel secure.
Should your spouse meet all your needs? ›
Don't have expectations of your spouse. If you have expectations, place them on yourself. In the end, a partner can help support us emotionally, but they can't be the only way for us to feel fulfilled and content. That said, their emotional support is still critical, even if they can't meet our every need.
What are the top 5 needs of husband and wife? ›
Kindness, compassion, companionship, intimacy, affection, sex (lovemaking) are also important factors here.
How to fulfill your wife's emotional needs? ›
8 Ways to Provide Emotional Support for Your Partner
- Listen to Your Partner.
- Paraphrase and Repeat Back What They've Said.
- Take Their Problems Seriously.
- Offer Physical Affection.
- Provide Meaningful Gestures.
- Simply Offer Love.
- Check In Later.
Here are 7 of the greatest needs of a wife:
- Love. Ephesians 5:25 “Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave Himself up for her.” How did Christ love the church? ...
- Attention. ...
- Protection. ...
- Security/Commitment. ...
- Appreciation/Value. ...
- Compassion. ...
- Partnership.
Husband wants Respect.
Both love and respect are essential for the soft gliding of martial life. However, for a woman, it is easier to love a man than respect him. But the real truth is a woman craves more love than respect and a man craves more respect than love.
When your spouse doesn't meet your needs? ›
One great way to deal with those unmet needs is to accept that, for now, your partner can't (or chooses not to) meet your need. When you accept that, you're making a conscious decision to move forward in your current relationship, knowing that a significant need is going unmet.
What is emotional neglect in a marriage? ›
Emotional neglect occurs when a spouse fails on a regular basis to attend to or respond to their partner's emotional needs. This is marked by a distinct lack of action by one person towards the feelings of the other, including an absence of awareness, consideration, or response to a spouse's emotional wellbeing.
Should a partner fulfill your needs? ›
No one has to meet your needs
That said, your partner does not have a responsibility to meet all of your needs. Some needs, such as trust and communication, do affect relationship success. Without trust and openness, relationships typically don't work out long term.
What is the 5 1 rule in marriage? ›
According to relationship researcher John Gottman, the magic ratio is 5 to 1. What does this mean? This means that for every one negative feeling or interaction between partners, there must be five positive feelings or interactions. Stable and happy couples share more positive feelings and actions than negative ones.
Here I help you with how you can procure.
- Treat her with respect indoors and in Public. Your wife is your dignity. ...
- Love your wife Unconditionally. Mr. ...
- Always take decisions together. Nowadays every married couple takes their decisions together and this is the proper indication of respect for her opinions.
The experience of emotional closeness. It occurs when two people are able to be emotionally open with one another, and reveal their true feelings, thoughts, fears and desires. This can only occur when both people are able to genuinely trust one another, and feel able to take the risk of being vulnerable.
How do I meet my wife's needs? ›
How our needs get met is negotiable
- Communicate that you understand your partner's need and why it's important to them.
- Reiterate why tending to this is important to you.
- Be clear on your own boundaries and limits in meeting the need.
- Communicate what your partner can expect from you going forward.
So, what exactly is walkaway wife syndrome? In essence, it refers to wives who become so emotionally disconnected and dissatisfied with their marriages that they eventually decide to leave—often after years of built-up resentment.
What does a wife need the most from her husband? ›
Women want a husband that they can count on, and this hasn't changed in recent years. Yes, women look to their spouse to be a lover and friend, but they also want him to be supportive and trustworthy. They want to know that he will be there and will be loyal.
What does every wife need? ›
Every Wife Needs SUPPORT From Her Husband
Your wife needs to know that you are always on her side. She needs to know that you've got her back. She needs you to be the shoulder she can lean on when times get tough. This doesn't mean that you have to agree on every single decision in the marriage.
What is required of a wife? ›
In being a good wife, the focus lies in nurturing a loving and harmonious partnership. This may involve effective communication, emotional support, and sharing responsibilities. A good wife openly communicates with her spouse, listens with empathy, and demonstrates affection.
What are the basic needs of a woman? ›
Provide clean drinking water and make sure that girls have enough calories in their systems for physical exertion. If girls are malnourished or dehydrated, they should not be playing sport without being given food or water, as it can further jeopardize their health.
