I don't know about you, but I'm pretty much always down for a cuddle sesh with my boyfriend. Like, who doesn't love snuggling with their S.O. at the end of a long work day?A major bonus: Turns out, cuddling is *key* when it comes to maintaining healthy romantic relationships says Chloe Carmichael, PhD, a New York-based therapist and author of Dr. Chloe's 10 Commandments of Dating.
"Cuddling can strengthen relationships by giving couples a way to connect that doesn't require words and that isn't necessarily sexual," she explains. Basically, it's intimate, relaxing, and requires veeeeery minimal effort. Seems simple, right? Well, there's a little more to it than that. Stereotypes are still very much a thing when it comes to how men really feel about cuddling.
Here's why: Some people with traditional perceptions of masculinity might stigmatize men who like to cuddle with partners, friends, or family members as effeminate, Carmichael explains, which in turn could make guys a little wary of publicly proclaiming their love for snuggling. "But in 2020, hopefully those voices are easily recognized outliers to the prevailing wisdom that healthy, affectionate touch is available to everyone regardless of gender," says Carmichael. *slow claps*
That said, I was still wondering what men had to say when it comes to their own personal cuddle habits. Naturally, I just had to ask for their thoughts. Ahead, 16 takes on cuddling straight from the dudes. Trust, it's a read you won't regret.
'There's this stigma that the guy is always the big spoon.'
"But, based on people I know personally, every guys who's at least tried being little spoon will tell you that they like it. It's just a very comforting feeling." —Julian M.
'Cuddling gives this satisfaction that nothing else sexual does.'
"Maybe it's just the Cancer in me, but I've always just been so comforted by cuddling and it's always been something that calms me down. From when I was a little kid, my mom and grandma would always scratch my back to help me fall asleep at night, and now I have a sweet spot for when my girlfriend rubs or scratches my back. Also, I think it's one of life's simple pleasures to just feel someone who you love's skin on your own. Kinda weird when you say it like that, but when you have passionate feelings for someone, just cuddling gives this satisfaction that nothing else sexual does." —Evan L.
'Eventually your breathing syncs and it rocks.'
"Cuddling is awesome. Like, my job is pretty high stress, and it feels good just to be able to hold someone and to be held. If I can snuggle up next to someone and just chill, maybe not even talk, it's peaceful and calming and gives the feeling that they care." —Will D.
'Your guard is completely down.'
"Cuddling, especially with someone you like, gives you a sense of closeness and relaxed intimacy that's difficult to find in other activities. If you feel comfortable with the other person, it kind of just let's you relax and not have to do much physically. It's like a better version of a hug except you get to lay down while doing it. Also, if you're sleeping while cuddling, it can let you get closer with someone without any of the nerves from being around someone new. Plus it's a great way to play footsie with someone and who doesn't love that." —Ben K.
'It's just super soothing and calming.'
"Cuddling is nice because it makes me feel close to my girlfriend. I like being cuddled because it's sweet to have my back rubbed. In our sleeping arrangement I fall asleep naturally facing the wall, and my girlfriend is the big spoon protecting me from the edge of the bed." —Alejandro G.
'I like making my girlfriend be big spoon.'
“So this is really weird, but I like being the ‘little spoon’ a lot. I’m not really sure why, but I do. I bet it looks pretty funny because my girlfriend is tiny, but the heart wants what the heart wants.” —Mark F.
'I don’t think I’ve ever met a respectable guy who refuses to cuddle, especially after sex.'
“I like cuddling, and if I’m in a serious relationship, I’ll get a good cuddle session in pretty much every night. I don’t know why there’s this perception that guys don’t enjoy it. I really don’t think your typical guy rolls over and passes out right after sex. We cuddle and talk a little bit. The only time I don’t like cuddling is when I’m actually trying to sleep. For one thing, your limbs might fall asleep, and that’s uncomfortable. For another, you’re in a position you wouldn’t normally be in if you were trying to sleep alone. Finally, it can get downright hot, and I like to sleep in a nearly freezing environment, so it keeps me awake. Cuddling isn’t worth it if it’s going to make you cranky in the morning.” —Ray P.
'I'm not a huge fan of cuddling.'
“Neither is my girlfriend, so it works out. She said to tell you that not all women are cuddle fiends.” —Josh L.
'Cuddling is the only PDA I'm really okay with.'
“I remember being single and watching couples eat each other’s faces or whatever out in public, and it would make me feel repulsed and also lonely. But when I see a couple cuddling out in public, it’s just really cute. It’s a great way of showing your lady—and those around you—that you want to be close with her.” —Darren V.
If this guy's a fan of PDA, he'll love watching Hailey and Justin Bieber:
'It's just okay.'
“It can be too hot and it gets uncomfortable, but it usually leads to something more.” —Spencer W.
'Not for me.'
“I don’t really like cuddling. But I have a lot of intimacy issues, so take what I say with a grain of salt.” —Stephen W.
'I see it as a precursor to more.'
“Cuddling is a great way to, you know, move things to the next level. My wife and I have missed the end of many movies because we start out cuddling and things escalate before the film is over.” —Michael B.
'I'm into it.'
“If my girl feels comfortable cuddling on the couch or in bed while we hang out, I’m totally into that. Especially because somehow she always smells fantastic.” —Chris O.
'There’s nothing better than coming home late from work and cuddling up to my girlfriend.'
“I love cuddling. My girlfriend and I just started living together, and it’s one of my favorite things about sharing a home and a bed.” —Aaron P.
'I always have to stop before I go to sleep.'
“Oh, man. I’m all about the cuddling. But there has to be a cutoff because I move around a lot in my sleep and I don’t want to wake the girl up a bunch of times throughout the night.” —Warren B.
'I think it adds a level of intimacy to the normal things we do at night.'
“I really like cuddling up on the couch and watching a movie or marathoning a TV show together.” —Billy E.
