"Our personal bubbles of space expand and contract to suit our moods, our relationships, and our situations," explains Reiman. "When someone gets too close to us ... the part of the brain known as the amygdala is triggered as we (potentially unconsciously) feel we might be attacked."
Obviously, if you recoil or flinch at your partner's touch, it's a clear indicator that you're uncomfortable around them. But even beyond that, if you don't love getting close or cuddly with that person — i.e. letting them into your personal "bubble" — it's likely because you feel uneasy about letting them in, physically and emotionally.
"In most situations, we are able to calm the amygdala down by engaging our frontal cortex, which inhibits this emotional activation," Reiman elaborates. "However, that doesn’t always happen and the situation might become too severe and too prolonged. When this happens we feel like a trapped animal and become extremely anxious, causing us to hit the many different levels of fear, fight, or flight."
In less neuroscientific terms, we have the capacity to let people in if and when we want to. So, if you behave like a spooked gazelle around your SO, take a step back (maybe even literally) and reflect on what this might mean.
We all get a little nervous at the start of a relationship, but if you're months in and still avoiding eye contact, filling conversations with fake chuckles, or jumping at their touch, it might be time to move on and look for a partner who doesn't make you squirmy and insecure. They're out there, I swear!
FAQs
Someone who wants to engage with you will turn their whole body toward you, perhaps even leaning in your direction. If, however, the person is looking at you but their body is facing away or their feet are turned toward the door, it's a good sign they're trying to be polite but want to escape the conversation. Space.
Why don't I feel relaxed around my partner? ›
There are many reasons why someone might feel anxious about their relationships. They might fear being abandoned or rejected or worry that their feelings are not reciprocated. Some may worry that their partner will be unfaithful or that the relationship will not last.
Why is my girlfriend not comfortable around me? ›
It is possible that your girlfriend is uncomfortable around you simply because she's afraid that you'll force her into doing something she doesn't want to do. This may include anything from kissing, smoking, doing drugs, touching, or having sex to getting tattooed or drinking alcohol.
What are two 2 examples of body language that shows someone is feeling uncomfortable? ›
Body language can tell a lot about how a person feels. A slumped posture can demonstrate a lack of confidence or boredom. Averted eye contact can be an indicator that a person is uncomfortable, self-conscious, or even lying. Crossed arms can signal defensiveness or disagreement.
What body language shows insecurity? ›
Common nonverbal cues of insecurity or nervousness: Avoiding Eye Contact: Shifting gaze, looking down, or avoiding direct eye contact. Fidgeting: Restless movements, such as tapping fingers, shaking legs, or playing with objects. Tense Posture: Stiff or hunched posture, shoulders pulled in, and limited body movement.
What makes a girl uncomfortable in a relationship? ›
Respect her personal space.
Everyone has boundaries about how physically close someone cannot be. Moving into this space too fast and being unwelcome is a sure way to make a girl feel uncomfortable. Especially early on, avoid standing too close, putting your face near hers, or touching sensitive areas such as the face.
How to know if a girl is not comfortable with you? ›
- If you ask her something but she instantly bothers to change the topic,..then she is not comfortable.
- If she feels you are trying to intrude into her private life.
- If you use awkward gestures while talking.
- Mind your language.
- Stand at proper distance so as to give her proper space.
- Maintain eye contact.
The relationship feels one-sided more often than not. Your partner doesn't initiate romance, sex, or intimacy. Your sex life has altered (e.g. having sex less often, disinterest in trying new things) You've noticed they've pulled back compared to past efforts.
Why do I randomly feel distant from my partner? ›
Lack of trust may lead to feeling distant from your partner, especially if you previously had trust for them and lost confidence in them. Losing trust could come from not abiding by agreed rules for the relationship, such as infidelity, or it could be that your partner has suddenly been less open than you.
Am I falling out of love or just comfortable? ›
Emotional distance: Finding yourself emotionally detached from your partner, unable or maybe even uninterested in sharing your thoughts and feelings, and experiences may be an indicator of diminishing love. Lack of interest: Are you no longer interested in your partner's life and well-being (or vice versa)?
Stonewalling involves refusing to communicate with another person and withdrawing from the conversation to create distance between the individual and their partner. Intentionally shutting down during an argument, also known as the silent treatment, can be hurtful, frustrating, and harmful to the relationship.
How do you know you are comfortable with your partner? ›
You should be able to trust your partner, trust your love for each other, and take for granted that you're on the same page most of the time (Ben-Zeèy, 2014). These are signs of a healthy relationship.
What does it mean when a girl feels uncomfortable around you? ›
It means that some action(s) or words of yours are perceived as inappropriate and doesn't fit her comfort zone and personal space. You can either ask her what exactly it is, and change your behaviour accordingly, or leave her alone.
Why do I feel uneasy around my girlfriend? ›
Especially in the early stages of getting to know each other, it's normal to have some nerves around your SO whether it's jitters or butterflies. We have all been hurt [or] embarrassed by someone we liked, and it means that the next time we find ourselves in a similar situation, we get anxious.
What is the body language of an irritated person? ›
Furrowed eyebrows, tense lips, a protruding jaw, a clenched jaw, and bare teeth are just some clues to anger. Gestures, like flailing arms. Posture, like a protruding chest. Physiological responses, those which a person is largely unable to control when they're angry, such as sweating and a flushed face.
What does anxious body language look like? ›
Crossed Arms
It can also be a nervousness body language cue. By folding our arms, we are physically closing ourselves off and “protecting” ourselves from those around us. It can be a quick reaction to feeling nervous, but is also a very obvious tell of discomfort so it is important to recognize and combat this sign.
What does stressed body language look like? ›
Another way to spot stress in body language is by observing the gestures and movements of the person. When someone is stressed, they may display nervous or restless behaviors, such as tapping their fingers, shaking their legs, rubbing their hands, or playing with their hair.
What does anxiety look like body language? ›
If you are feeling nervous, your body may stiffen, making you appear glued to the spot. On a micro-expression level, when we experience nervousness our facial nerves tend to take on a frozen 'deer in the headlights' appearance. Your listeners may pick up that you are tense and perceive this as a lack of confidence.
