3 Ways to Hug a Guy - wikiHow (2024)

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1Hugging Him Romantically

2Hugging Guy Friends

3Knowing When to Hug

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Co-authored byConnell Barrett

Last Updated: May 1, 2023ReferencesApproved

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A good hug should not be scientific, difficult, or intimidating. All a good hug requires is genuine desire to hold someone. Guys are not looking for special moves or techniques, they just want you to commit to the hug. You don't have to be sexual, coy, or unique, you just have to wrap your arms around him and hold on for a few seconds.

Method 1

Method 1 of 3:

Hugging Him Romantically

  1. 1

    Start the hug with a gentle touch on the arm, eye contact, or a smile. Whether you're in love or just dating, there is really no wrong way to move in for a hug. So just do it! A casual touch can be used to introduce a casual hug, and an intimate touch can be used to introduce an intimate hug. Let your hand brush against his arm a few times, or allow it to linger there for a few moments. Look into his eyes, or sneak up behind him and plant one on him. If you want to give him a hug, just give him the hug.

  2. 2

    Wrap your arms around him. Don't overthink it, just wrap him up. In general, you'll slide both arms between his arms and his torso, connecting them around his back for a deep, close embrace. However, if you're feeling romantic, there are plenty of other ways to hug him:[1]

    • Wrap one hand behind his back, just above his butt. Place the other hand around his neck so that your fingers rest where his neck meets his shoulder.
    • Lightly grab onto the left side of his neck (his right side) with your left hand. If you're extra romantic, you can lightly tousle the back of his hair with your fingers.
    • Place one palm lightly on his upper chest, wrapping around his waist with your other arm.[2]

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  3. 3

    Press your upper body into his. As you wrap your arms around his neck or chest, press your upper body into his. Pressing your chest into his is considered a "heart to heart" hug. If you're the same height as him, you might rest your head on his shoulder. If you're shorter, turn so that you rest your cheek on his chest. If you’re taller, try to lower your head so he can see you better and feel like he is in reach to kiss you.

  4. 4

    Relax your body and fold comfortably into his arms. Just slow down and relax. A hug is simply a chance to press close together, enjoying each other's company. If your first hug position isn't right, simply move your arms and body into a more comfortable position. If you are in a good embrace, let your hug linger until the moment passes or you feel him begin to pull away.

  5. 5

    Press up even closer to him if you want to turn up the temperature. Pressing your upper half into his can indicate romantic interest, but it is still fairly tame. Allowing your hands to roam or your legs to intertwine, however, is a great way to kick it up a notch and suggest stronger desire.

    • Massage his back, neck or chest lightly with your fingers to kick things up a notch.
    • Pull his face down into a kiss if it feels right, or if you're both looking for more than a hug.
  6. 6

    Gradually ease out of the embrace when it feels right. Instead of stepping back and immediately breaking contact, take a half step out of his embrace and allow your hands to linger on his shoulders or chest. Look each other in the eyes and smile, or slide back in for a kiss.

    • If you feel him slightly pulling back from the hug, don't try and grip him tighter. Follow the mood and ease out as well.
    • There is no right amount of time to hold a hug, so just feel it out and enjoy yourself.
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Method 2

Method 2 of 3:

Hugging Guy Friends

  1. 1

    Make eye contact and open your arms before moving in. You don't have to be dating someone to give them a good, warm hug. However, with guys you aren't romantically involved with, you generally need to give him a little heads up. Make eye contact, smile, and open your arms up. Unless he firmly sticks his hand out for a shake or seems to shy away/avoid eye contact, just move into the hug.

    • Be flexible -- if he doesn't seem to want a hug, don't hug him. If he does, or you're unsure, just be yourself and do whatever you want. Very few guys will complain about a casual hug.
  2. 2

    Open your arms and take steps toward him. You'll end up close enough that you can comfortably get your arms around each other and touch chests. In general, your feet will be 6-8" away from each other, but don't worry about it too much. It is a casual hug, so just be casual about it. Unless you're pressing your entire body into his and pulling him in close, you're not going to send the wrong signal.

    • Open your arms as wide as you feel. You can feel free to open your arms wide if you want a big hug.
    • If he doesn't seem like he wants a hug, you could give him a side hug. Move so you are side by side with him, and put your arm around his shoulder. This one-armed hug can get you out of many awkward moments if need be.
  3. 3

    Slide your arms under his if he's taller than you. Just make sure your head is going the opposite way of his head and you'll be fine. If you're the taller one, let him slide his arms under yours. This isn't a hard and fast rule, of course, but in general it is easier to slide into a hug if you don't have to reach down to get under someone's armpits.

  4. 4

    Wrap your arms all the way around his back. Once your arms are positioned in response to his, move them all the way around his body and gently but firmly embrace. Keep your body relaxed while you are putting your arms around his body. Your hands can be open and touch his back or shoulders, or you can clasp your own hands behind him.

    • Don't think about yourself too much while hugging. This can make you feel awkward. Instead, concentrate on the guy you are hugging and try to enjoy the moment.
    • Just laugh if anything goes wrong or feels awkward. Hugs are not complex signals or mating rituals -- they're a pleasant way to greet someone. Don't overthink it!
  5. 5

    Embrace him warmly and briefly. To embrace warmly, try to think about him and not yourself, enjoy the moment, and give him a firm but gentle squeeze.[3] A good way to think about your timing, if you're extra worried, is to just exhale into the hug, relaxing your muscles as you do, then stepping back gently once you're done. This will give you a good 2-3 second hug.

  6. 6

    Step away, re-establish eye contact and smile again. Ease gently out of the hug and step back -- he'll do the same thing 99% of the time. You want to be outside his personal space, but don't move so far back that it seems unnatural -- one or two smalls steps is fine. Looking at him again will cement the good vibes from your hug so that you both leave the hug feeling great.

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Method 3

Method 3 of 3:

Knowing When to Hug

  1. 1

    Look for open arms and body language. There are few more common, and more awkward, social moments then the debate between a hug and a handshake. One of the best indicators is someone's hands. If they extend their right hand towards you you can be pretty sure they want a handshake. However, if their hands move out, opening up their torso, there is a good chance they're expecting a hug.

  2. 2

    Use a simple one-armed handshake to adjust an awkward embrace. If you end up stuck between a hug and a handshake, simple wrap one arm around the lower back for a one-handed hug. Lean in so that one of your shoulders touches his, but don't feel like you need to really embrace him if you don't want to. You can keep some distance, or angle your body away from him to keep things casual.

    • This is a great way to end an awkward "what should we do" moment. Just wrap the arm, hug quickly, then stand back.
  3. 3

    Take charge if the guy seems awkward or unsure of what to do. There is no reason why you can't stick your hand out or simply move to a hug if you want. Without fail, the guy will adapt to you, so just take the initiative and move in however your feel comfortable. Just make eye contact and go for it-- there are very few guys who do not enjoy a hug from a woman. That said, there are times when you're better off sticking to a handshake, such as:

    • Buisness or professional settings.
    • The first time you meet him.
    • When you are unsure about his boundaries
    • If you do not know/feel unsure about local or international customs.
  4. 4

    Skip the hassle of a hug altogether and use different, more casual greeting. This can demonstrate a sense of ease or camaraderie. For example, you start with a quick wave, a high-five or a fist bump. This sets a casual, platonic mood between you and him. You could start with a high five before drawing him into an embrace, or you could playfully give him a light punch or fist bump on the shoulder.[4]

    • If he smiles, makes eye contact, and seems at ease, you can always move in for a hug when you say good bye.
    • A quick wave and a smile from a distance is often a good way to gauge if they want a hug. If he responds warmly, just move on it.
  5. 5

    Avoid hugs you don't want with a smile and your hand firmly extended. If you know someone is a "hugger," or you just don't feel like a hug is appropriate for any reason, take charge and stick your hand out early. Make eye contact and smile, then give a firm handshake. In the rare case that a guy seems extra persistent, you can try to guide his hand to yours with your free hand, making it extra clear that you want no more than a handshake.

    • If you really, really, don't want to hug them, give your best smile and say something like "It's great to see you, let me shake your hand."[5]
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      Tips

      • If you do not feel comfortable hugging a certain guy or hugging in a certain situation, don't feel pressured to do it.

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      • If you feel the hug starting to end and you wanna still be close to him, wrap your arms around his upper waist. Turn your body so you are gently leaning against him and choose if you want your upper or lower half of your body to be touching him. Glance up at him and smile and then nuzzle your head into him. Any guy would fall for this and think it is very hot.

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      • Above all else, be natural. By staying with what feels natural, your body will be able to react according to your intentions, and you will have a better chance of conveying the correct meaning.

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      3 Ways to Hug a Guy - wikiHow (20)

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      Warnings

      • If you know that he has a romantic interest in you, but you do not feel likewise, avoid hugging too much as this can stir his hopes up.

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      • Understand that not everyone is a big hugger. If a guy friend or relative seems uncomfortable hugging you, do not push yourself on him. Respecting his wishes is a better way to demonstrate your affection than forcing your way into his arms.

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      • You should also be aware of when it is inappropriate to hug a guy. In some instances, the guy might come from a place where it is culturally unacceptable for men and women to hug in friendship. Or if a close guy friend is in a relationship, you might also want to restrict your hugging to the most casual form possible.

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      About This Article

      3 Ways to Hug a Guy - wikiHow (35)

      Co-authored by:

      Dating Coach

      This article was co-authored by Connell Barrett. Connell Barrett is a Relationship Expert and the Founder and Executive Coach of Dating Transformation in New York City. Connell has over five years of experience as an international coach who helps men connect with women by unlocking their best, true, most confident selves. He is the author of the Amazon bestseller “Dating Sucks but You Don’t,” and has appeared on Good Morning America, the "Today" show, Access Hollywood, and in Best Life, Cosmopolitan, and The Oprah Magazine. In 2019 he was named Datezie.com's “New York City’s Best Male Dating Coach." This article has been viewed 1,118,329 times.

      40 votes - 78%

      Co-authors: 56

      Updated: May 1, 2023

      Views:1,118,329

      Categories: Flirting

      Article SummaryX

      The best way to hug a guy depends on whether you want the hug to be romantic or friendly. If it’s a romantic hug, start by stepping in close and making eye contact. If you want, warm up to the hug with a gentle touch on his arm or shoulder. Then, wrap your arms around him. Depending on how tall he is, you could put your arms around his neck or slide them under his arms and around his back. Either way, try not to overthink it—do whatever feels natural and comfortable. Once your arms are around him, relax and get cozy. You could try pressing your chest up against his or resting your head on his shoulder or chest. If you want to make the hug a little more intimate, try caressing his back with your hands, moving in even closer, or reaching up to pull him into a kiss. When you’re done with the hug, slowly pull back. If you want to let the moment last a little longer, let your hands rest on his shoulders or chest for a minute and gaze into his eyes before you completely break contact. If you’re going for more of a friendly hug, start by making eye contact and opening your arms. You can even say something like, “Bring it in,” or “Give me a hug, big guy!” This will give him a heads up that you want a hug, so it doesn’t take him by surprise. If he seems okay with it, step up close and put your arms around him. You can also give him a quick pat on the shoulder if you want, since this is a friendly gesture that doesn’t feel overly intimate. Keep the hug quick, since a friendly hug can start to feel awkward if it goes on too long. 2 to 3 seconds is usually a good length of time. When you’re done, gently let him go and take a step back to end the hug. For tips on how to turn a hug into a handshake, read on!

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      FAQs

      3 Ways to Hug a Guy - wikiHow? ›

      Pressing your chest into his is considered a "heart to heart" hug. If you're the same height as him, you might rest your head on his shoulder. If you're shorter, turn so that you rest your cheek on his chest. If you're taller, try to lower your head so he can see you better and feel like he is in reach to kiss you.

      What way do guys like to be hugged? ›

      Wrap your arms around him.

      If your arms are around his neck, run your fingers softly through the hair at the base of his neck. If your arms are around his torso, rub his back gently. A behind-the-back hug can also be a good way to hug a guy hello.

      How do you hug a flirty way? ›

      To add an extra romantic touch, nuzzle your head or even your face into the head/neck of the other person (or chest, if you're much shorter than the person you're hugging). Squeeze and hold. A romantic hug lasts longer than a platonic hug. Gently clutch a little tighter for two or three seconds.

      What do guys feel when a girl hugs them? ›

      And most likely we don't think much but just enjoy the feeling of being loved and given a chance to love them. Men think about how lucky they are to have the woman they are hugging, in their life. I love hugs!

      How to hug a guy in bed? ›

      How to cuddle: the best positions for cuddling in bed
      1. Spooning: A firm favourite, 18% of the nation chose this as their preferred sleeping position. ...
      2. Half spoon: One partner lies on their back while the other lies on their side, hugging them. ...
      3. Full embrace: Facing each other with your bodies entwined. ...
      4. Spacious hug:
      Feb 12, 2020

      Where do you touch a guy when hugging? ›

      7 pleasure spots every guy wants you to touch
      • 01/8​7 pleasure spots every guy wants you to touch. <p>Ladies, here's how you can step up your game of seduction to next level! ...
      • 02/8Nape. ...
      • 03/8​Back of the ears. ...
      • 04/8​Butt. ...
      • 05/8​Inner thighs. ...
      • 06/8​Perineum. ...
      • 07/8​Nipples. ...
      • 08/8​Feet.
      Jun 1, 2023

      What kind of hugs do guys find intimate? ›

      The 'Grasp On Waist' Hug

      If you ask us, “what types of hugs do guys like the most, " here is your answer! This kind of intimate hug suggests that you share a very close bond with your partner where there is love, trust, and lots of romance. It is a beautiful way of spicing things between you and your partner.

      How do you give a seducing hug? ›

      Place one arm under her armpit, in the lower half of her ribcage. Put your other hand on the general area of her shoulder blade. As the hug deepens, you can hold her waist or wrap both arms around the small of her back. Alternately, hug her from behind.

      Do guys get hard after hugging a girl? ›

      a physical hug though it's a normal greeting practice, has elements of male and female coming closer and rubbing each other face to face closeness including pelvic closeness. During that time female body parts rub male genital causing erections which you might have felt in Hugs.

      Can you tell if a guy likes you by a hug? ›

      Generally, the lower the hands, the higher the physical attraction. If their arms encircle your waist and they press their hands against your lower back, that might be a romantic hug—especially if they draw your lower body in closer to theirs.

      When a guy rubs your back while hugging? ›

      This affectionate gesture signifies that your guy cares deeply about you. "The back is a very vulnerable part of the body," Wood says. "You can't see your back, so being touched there can be startling." Softly rubbing you on such an exposed zone shows that he wants to nurture and protect you.

      How should I touch a man while cuddling? ›

      Here are some ways to keep touching your boyfriend while you cuddle:
      1. Put your arms around his neck.
      2. Play with his hair.
      3. Put your hands on his chest.
      4. Sit on his lap and put your hands on his shoulders.

      How do you know if someone wants to hug you? ›

      People who are natural huggers and/or who feel friendly toward you will often prefer to greet you with a hug instead of a handshake. When someone wants to hug, they will approach you with their arms open and their torso facing you in preparation for the embrace.

      When a guy opens his arms to hug you? ›

      He's being affectionate.

      Whether you're platonic pals or something more, he could just want to show you he cares about you—nothing more to it! A hug could be his way to show he likes you and wants you to feel special. Actually, studies indicate that the more hugs we get a day, the happier we are.

      What is a flirty hug? ›

      A flirty hug is one where there is lingering touch just as the hug ends. If their hands are on your waist (or lower) or around your neck, it could be a flirty hug. How do you know if a hug is romantic? You know a hug is romantic when the person makes intense eye contact before going in for the hug.

      How do you know if a guy wants to touch you? ›

      He'll Touch You Back

      He might not touch back, but if he does, you've definitely got the green light. Men who are attracted to you might even engage in more touch. If a man actively tries to touch you during your interaction, it may mean he wants to get closer to you or close the distance between you two.

      How a guy hugs when he likes you? ›

      A guy hugging you with both arms and rubbing your back is a warm gesture that indicates that your guy cares deeply about you. It's a significant form of affection and intimacy.

      Which hug is most intimate? ›

      A close, full-body embrace, with eye contact--that's what an Intimate Hug is. The eye contact takes this type of hug to a new level, because it is clearly about more than just physical touch. If you are experiencing hugs like these, it means you really have something special going on.

      Why do guys like to hug tight? ›

      He is happy to hold the girl tightly and have his arms around her. Also, it means the guy wants the moment to last as long as it will, especially if he accompanies it by closing his eyes. A tight hug from a man also indicates his feeling towards you. In other words, he feels a strong will to protect and comfort you.

      Do guys like to be hugged from behind? ›

      Men tend to love the hug from behind because it triggers their hero instinct, or their desire to care for and be needed by their partner. If there's a guy in your life who likes to hug from behind, lean into his protective arms to show that you appreciate him.

      How do you touch a man emotionally? ›

      Touch his cheeks, his forearms, his inner thighs, the back of his wrists, his forehead, his bare knees, or even graze his lips with your hands. These are all classic erogenous zones that are sure to leave him titillated!

      How long should you hug a guy? ›

      Psychologists in London claim they have cracked the code on the ideal embrace, saying hugs should last between five and 10 seconds. According to researchers at Goldsmiths university, longer hugs were found to provide an immediate pleasure boost compared to shorter ones (lasting just one second).

      How do you hug someone without making it weird? ›

      A guide to avoiding awkward hugs
      1. ONE: Hone your technique. A bear hug is not an appropriate social hug. ...
      2. TWO: Avoid the prolonged hug. ...
      3. THREE: Try not to ask first. ...
      4. FOUR: Choose your moment. ...
      5. FIVE: Consider your target. ...
      6. SIX: Hugs should be mutual. ...
      7. SEVEN: Not everyone relishes the hug. ...
      8. EIGHT: The unwanted hug.
      Jul 25, 2017

      How does first hug feel? ›

      When we reach out, a chemical called oxytocin — also dubbed the “love hormone” — kicks in and makes us feel warm and fuzzy inside. The effects of a warm embrace can linger long after the hug: Oxytocin promotes feelings of trust, nurturing, and calm. A hug can even improve your physiological stability.

      What is the 20 second hug rule? ›

      Hugging someone you love for 20 seconds a day is the key to alleviating stress and beating burnout, according to a new book. A lingering embrace releases the bonding hormone oxytocin, which can lower your blood pressure, slow your heart rate and improve your mood.

      Why does he moan when he hugs me? ›

      Cuddling and hugging increases oxytocin levels in brain( love hormone) this in turn has some relaxing effects on the body and the nervous system so people often make grunts to let it out.

      Is he into me or just being nice? ›

      A guy who likes you will always be nice and polite in his approach towards you and he will always look for avenues to spend more time alone with you and get to know more about you- either by going on a date, through constant phone calls or chats- the subtle signs are always there if you pay close attention.

      Do you hug a guy over or under? ›

      Slide your arms under his if he's taller than you.

      If you're the taller one, let him slide his arms under yours. This isn't a hard and fast rule, of course, but in general it is easier to slide into a hug if you don't have to reach down to get under someone's armpits.

      When a guy holds your head while hugging? ›

      It could mean one of two things. Either the guys is genuinely a loving and caring person, has no ulterior motives and is just showing he cares for you. Or, he has an underlying desire to give you more than a hug. The opportunity to hug is for him an opportunity to physically show you he finds you physically attractive.

      Why do guys give side hugs? ›

      What it means: "A side hug means you're not fully in it," says intimacy expert Julian Colker. This hug is more common in acquaintances than friends since it's more approachable and appropriate for people who aren't very close.

      Why do guys sway when they hug you? ›

      Swaying while hugging could be a way of showing affection, comfort, or just a natural reaction to physical contact. It's possible that he's trying to soothe you or create a sense of closeness. Or, it could just be a reflex that he's not even aware of.

      How to innocently turn him on while cuddling? ›

      If your objective for cuddling with a guy is to turn him on, then there are a few things you can do to make that happen.
      1. Play with his hair. When someone plays with another person's hair, it's a flirty, romantic thing. ...
      2. Rub your hands on his arms or legs. ...
      3. Put your head on his chest.

      Do guys get attached after cuddling? ›

      Some men or women like cuddling because it makes them feel your protector. They like to feel strong and make you feel safe and loved. Oxytocin, released during cuddling, has been shown to increase trust, enhancing the feeling of making you feel protected.

      Does cuddling help men bond? ›

      According to a research conducted by the Kinsey Institute for Research in Sex, Gender and reproduction, “Among middle-aged couples in committed relationships, tenderness is often more important to the man than the woman; regular kisses and cuddling lead to greater relationship satisfaction in men than in their partners ...

      Can you feel a connection with a hug? ›

      Hugging causes the brain to release oxytocin, the hormone that increases human bonding. Here's why it's so important. The oxytocin released by hugging increases trust, loyalty and feelings of closeness, which is why physical contact in relationships is so important.

      Why do I feel like I want to hug him? ›

      Being hugged uplifts our mood. If you are feeling isolated or are going through a rough time, a hug releases endorphins. Endorphins are the body's natural pain relievers. These neurotransmitters increase our feelings of pleasure.

      Can you catch feelings from a hug? ›

      Oxytocin is released during sex, but it's also released by physical contact such as cuddling, kissing or hugging. When those feelings of calmness and overall happiness become associated with a certain person, it can be hard not to feel attachment to the cause of that association.

      Do hugs turn a guy on? ›

      Yes, guys generally like being hugged from behind. As hugging is an affectionate physical connection, it helps in dopamine secretion and makes men feel good. Depending on the bonding you share with the guy, he may feel loved, appreciate the closeness, and feel lusty about you.

      How do you know if a guy is into you? ›

      22 Subtle Signs A Guy Likes You, From Dating Experts
      1. He leans toward you during conversation.
      2. He angles his body toward you in the room.
      3. He finds small ways to compliment you.
      4. He makes eye contact.
      5. He steals a glance at you.
      6. He singles you out in a group.
      7. He seems drawn to you in the room.
      Nov 26, 2021

      How do you know if a hug is more than a friendly? ›

      It is not just the act of the hug that makes these two embraces differ, but the feelings the hug gives you. If you feel comforted and safe, it is likely a friendly hug. If you feel aroused or connected, it may be a romantic hug.

      What is the most attractive way to hug a guy? ›

      Pressing your chest into his is considered a "heart to heart" hug. If you're the same height as him, you might rest your head on his shoulder. If you're shorter, turn so that you rest your cheek on his chest. If you're taller, try to lower your head so he can see you better and feel like he is in reach to kiss you.

      Where do you touch a guy to break the touch barrier? ›

      You can always break the touch barrier with a playful touch on the arm or a hug that lingers just a second too long. Handshakes do not count — This is a chance to be a little flirtatious. Don't cling to his arm, but short, playful touches show that you are interested in him.

      How do you tell a guy likes you by his hug? ›

      Generally, the lower the hands, the higher the physical attraction. If their arms encircle your waist and they press their hands against your lower back, that might be a romantic hug—especially if they draw your lower body in closer to theirs.

      How do I hug my crush? ›

      Lean forward and put your two arms around your crush, pressing the person you are hugging warmly toward you. If you are taller, the shorter person's arms should be around your neck, and you should embrace them around the waist. Keep them in that position for no more than a couple seconds, and let go as soon as they do.

      How do you hug someone without being awkward? ›

      A guide to avoiding awkward hugs
      1. ONE: Hone your technique. A bear hug is not an appropriate social hug. ...
      2. TWO: Avoid the prolonged hug. ...
      3. THREE: Try not to ask first. ...
      4. FOUR: Choose your moment. ...
      5. FIVE: Consider your target. ...
      6. SIX: Hugs should be mutual. ...
      7. SEVEN: Not everyone relishes the hug. ...
      8. EIGHT: The unwanted hug.
      Jul 25, 2017

      Why do I crave to hug him? ›

      Oxytocin is a chemical in our bodies that scientists sometimes call the “cuddle hormone.” This is because its levels rise when we hug, touch, or sit close to someone else. Oxytocin is associated with happiness and less stress. Scientists have found that this hormone has a strong effect in women.

      When guys rub your lower back when hugging? ›

      This affectionate gesture signifies that your guy cares deeply about you. "The back is a very vulnerable part of the body," Wood says. "You can't see your back, so being touched there can be startling." Softly rubbing you on such an exposed zone shows that he wants to nurture and protect you.

      When a guy kisses your neck while hugging? ›

      A kiss on the neck usually means that he just can't get enough of you. If he kisses you on your neck, it means that he loves you and is passionately drawn towards you.

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      Hobby: Nordic skating, Lacemaking, Mountain biking, Rowing, Gardening, Water sports, role-playing games

      Introduction: My name is Fredrick Kertzmann, I am a gleaming, encouraging, inexpensive, thankful, tender, quaint, precious person who loves writing and wants to share my knowledge and understanding with you.