You come home and find your partner watching TV and the sink filled with dirty dishes — you probably feel anger and exhaustion. This is because your mind perceives this incident as a “trigger”. However, according to Dr Nicole LePera, a psychologist, while many people “believe we’re triggered by the event, but we’re *also* triggered by what we interpret the events to mean about us.” That is because, she said, “we attach meaning to these events or prepare a story in our mind that triggers us”.
Explaining, she wrote on Instagram, “Our brains are master storytellers. Uncertainty feels like a threat, so the brain fills in the gaps by making assumptions to confirm what we already believe to be true”. Unpacking the above example of getting triggered by dirty dishes, Dr LePera explained that when you come home and find dirty dishes, a narrative is formed in your brain that your partner, “doesn’t consider me”/ “They don’t care about me”/“I’m not important”/“I’m invisible to the people I love” etc.
Sharing another example, she added: “Your partner is late to meet you for dinner. As you text ‘where are you’, frustration runs through your body.” Breaking down this frustration, she explained, “A narrative is created in the mind: “They probably completely forgot about me”/“I always end up with people who are workaholics”/“I am so sick of not being a priority in people’s lives”.
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This happens because the brain sees uncertainty as a danger or a threat. So a “negative” story feels more safe to the brain.” The brain isn’t concerned with making you happy, it’s only concern is keeping you safe (survival),” she added.
Talking to indianexpress.com, Shilpa Bandyopadhyay, Lecturer, Jindal Institute of Behavioural Sciences, O.P. Jindal Global University (JGU) said that triggers can arise due to past traumatic experiences.
“It is very common to hear people say they got triggered by some event, or by others’ comments or behaviour or a news or social media post. For some people, these ‘emotional triggers’ could be a stark reminder of a traumatic event they have experienced in the past. For instance, a rape survivor with PTSD could experience a worsening of their symptoms or feel extreme levels of anxiety if they come across a news on sexual abuse or rape”.
She added that triggers and the emotional responses certain indidents evoke can definitely vary in intensity. “In common parlance, when someone says they were triggered they may be referring to moments when, say for instance, all of a sudden, a statement directed towards them sent them into an emotional tailspin. These emotional triggers can hurt us, enrage us, and make us feel a host of other negative emotions such as shame”.
Our brain can interpret or put false meanings to an event, making us feel triggered. (Pic source: Pixabay)
Understand your triggers
Dr LePera advised to notice the meaning you are attaching to an event to understand your trigger. Here are few steps by her to manage triggers:
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1. Notice the brain’s narrative: Witness it. Just be with it, don’t try to change it. Just notice all of the stories and assumptions being made.
2. Name it as a story: “My brain is protecting me by creating a story right now.”
3. Take deep slow breathes from the belly: this will send cues of safety to the nervous system and help regulate thought patterns.
4. Speak: “I don’t know” to break the pattern of creating thoughts acknowledge objective truth which is you can’t be sure of why anything happened— your brain is simply making assumptions.
5. Stay curious and open: communicate, share, and be vulnerable.
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By practicing this you separate you (Self) from your narrative or story. This will create healthier relationships, more confidence, and more humility #selfhealers
ALSO READ | Stuck in a ‘trigger-stress-eating-temporary-relief’ cycle? Here’s how you can break the chain
Exercises to control getting triggered
Bandyopadhyay shared some easy exercises to manage triggers. They are:
Grounding exercises: When you feel triggered, try practicing grounding exercises to feel calm and to distract yourself. The 5-4-3-2-1 technique, for instance, requires you to look around and name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can feel, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell and 1 thing you can taste.
Muting/unfollowing triggering social media accounts: If your triggers are related to particular social media accounts you might want to mute or unfollow them, for instance, if posts of someone specific triggers your body image issues.
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Practicing self-compassion: Remember to be compassionate and kind towards yourself when examining your triggers.
Meditation: In general, meditation might increase your levels of emotional regulation and prove beneficial in stressful or triggering situations.
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