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Melinda Marcus, M.A., CSP
Melinda Marcus, M.A., CSP
Shows leaders how to read Body Language and Influence Decisions• Speaks and Consults on how to win new clients, career opportunities and support of stakeholders • Author of "Read The Zoom"
Published Mar 9, 2023
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Twodays ago, I posted about Alex Murdaugh’s nonverbals when he took the stand in his murder trial. He showed a number of high stress signals, such as repeatedly pushing his tongue against the inside of his cheek and lickinghis lips.
The post prompted a number of comments as well as someinterestingquestions. Theonethat came up most often was:“Is there a nonverbal cue that shows someone is lying?” In particular, many people have heard that touching the nose while speaking is a sign of lying.What’s interesting is that I had to use one of thenose-touchphotos from my body language book“ReadTheZoom”because I couldn’t find a photo of Murdaugh touching his nose during his trial. Yet, the evidence led the jury to conclude that he lied during his testimony… and I agree with their judgement.
THERE IS NO PINOCCHIO EFFECT.
Many people get very disappointed when Ianswerthat there is nononverbalthatshowssomeone islying. The notion that“touching the nose indicates a lie”is a myth, which hasbeen around for years.It probably got started because when we feel stress, thesmall capillaries on the skin surfacetend tofill and cause redness anditchiness on the nose.Thus, we tend to rub the itch.
Touching the nose is apacifying behavior to relieve stress.However, showing stressduring a trialdoes not prove someone is guilty or innocent. Stresscould beassociated withthediscomfortoftelling a lie OR it could bedue to thediscomfortofbeing accused of something you didn’t do.Most often, this kind of stress has nothing to do with criminal activity – it’s someoneat your officehaving tospeak in public or even speak up in a meeting.It would be unfortunate if theotherpeople in the room assigned a “lie” to the nose-toucher’s statements simply because the speaker was nervous and touched their nose.
… BUTREADING NONVERBALSCANHELPYOUUNCOVER THE TRUTH
Afterconductingmore than 10,000 interviewsduring 25 years of service asa Special Agent for the FBI, my mentor Joe Navarro sums up what nonverbals can and cannot tell us:
“We need to stop associating behaviors indicative of psychological discomfort with deception, and acknowledge them purely for what they are: signs of stress, anxiety, apprehension, despair, suspicion, tension, concern, nervousness, etc. But not deception.”
What nonverbal cues can do is identify “hot spots,” which are topics that cause stress to a particular person. By asking questions around that topic, often you can uncover the motivating factor for theemotion. Inlaw enforcement, this has pointed investigators to leads that turned into arrests and convictions. Inmy consulting engagements, this has led to important insights for clients who are leaders in the corporate world and in the healthcare arena. It was critical to their team’s performance to uncover and address issues before they got worse.Reading the unspoken stress signals early gave them the “heads up”on where to focus their attention so they could be successful.
If you have an interest in this topic, I’veincluded a special section on“TheTruthAboutDetecting Lies” in my book“ReadTheZoom”because this topic comes upoftenwhen I give keynote speeches to corporations and associations.You can see a sample chapter and Joe Navarro’s Forward to my book at ReadTheZoom.com
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Nati Cohen
Body Language Expert ♛ Guiding C-level Managements to take their Unique X-Factor & Carisma for their next level leadership ♛ International Diploma ♛ Licentiate degree at Tel Aviv University - Coller School of Management
7mo
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Interesting insight into how body language can reveal a lot more than what is spoken!
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Sebastiën van Dusschoten
Spreekjuwelier @ Boost Your Speech / Team Lead Field Operations @ Applied Medical Europe
1y
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Thank you for this article. The myth is still too much alive. Even if touching the nose would be an indicator of deception, it’s still only one signal. If other signals don’t match with deceptive/stressful behavior, one still shouldn’t draw conclusions from it.
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Michael Hoffman CSP
When you create and equip an ownership culture... that's when service becomes Positively Outrageous!
1y
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This is so fascinating Melinda Marcus, M.A., CSP, I love the study of people and I've always wanted to learn more about this type of communication awareness. Loved the article. What does it mean when I want to touch other peoples noses?
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Vince Poscente
Let's "Do what the competition is not willing to do." As an Olympian, NY Times bestselling author, & Hall of Fame speaker I've learned life's too short not to have fun, activate purpose, and accelerate growth.
1y
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I read about that correlation between touching a nose and lying. Now I can’t stop thinking about that when I’m talking to someone and they touch their nose. Or even worse, when I’m talking and I touch my nose. Then I think. Am I lying? UGG.
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Yoram Solomon
Trust Inside & Out • Sell on Trust, not Price • Trust Expert/Researcher • Keynote Speaker • Workshop Facilitator • Trainer • Author, The Book of Trust • Host, The Trust Show podcast • Adjunct Professor • (972) 331-1490
1y
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There is a danger in making those assumptions. The FBI used to have a field manual for their agents showing them when people are lying. It’s not always true. I think that your determination of whether someone is lying should be based on the balance of many things. Not just one. It’s not that accurate…
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