Why Do We Kiss? (2024)

It depends on who we’re kissing

Humans pucker up for all kinds of reasons. We kiss for love, for luck, to say hello and goodbye. There’s also the whole ‘it feels so good’ thing.

And when you stop and really think about the act of kissing, it’s kind of strange, isn’t it? Pressing your lips against someone else and, in some cases, swapping saliva? It turns out there’s some science behind this strange but enjoyable behavior.

There are many theories about how kissing originated and why we do it. Some scientists believe that kissing is a learned behavior, since roughly 10 percent of humans don’t kiss at all and considerably fewer kiss with romantic or sexual intent. Others believe kissing is instinctual and rooted in biology.

Have a look at some of the science behind kisses of all kinds and see what you think.

Kissing causes a chemical reaction in your brain, including a burst of the hormone oxytocin. It’s often referred to as the “love hormone,” because it stirs up feelings of affection and attachment.

According to a 2013 study, oxytocin is particularly important in helping men bond with a partner and stay monogamous.

Women experience a flood of oxytocin during childbirth and breastfeeding, strengthening the mother-child bond.

Speaking of feeding, many believe that kissing came from the practice of kiss-feeding. Much like birds feeding worms to their little chicks, mothers used to — and some still do — feed their children their chewed up food.

You know that high you feel when you’re head over heels for a new love and spending time canoodling with them? That’s the effect of the dopamine in your brain’s reward pathway.

Dopamine is released when you do something that feels good, like kissing and spending time with someone you’re attracted to.

This and other “happy hormones” make you feel giddy and euphoric. The more you get of these hormones, the more your body wants them. For some, this may be more apparent at the start of a relationship — especially if most of your time is spent in a lip lock.

If you can keep up a steady pace of kissing after that initial spark fizzles, you can continue to enjoy the benefits of those happy hormones.

You may even have a more satisfying relationship. In a 2013 study, couples in long-term relationships who frequently kissed reported increased relationship satisfaction.

It’s no secret that some kisses are totally sex-driven and far from platonic.

Older research shows that for women, kissing is a way to size up a potential mate. It also plays an important role in their decision to hit the sheets.

Female participants said they were less likely to have sex with someone without kissing first. They also reported that how well someone kisses can make or break their partner’s chances of getting to third base.

It’s also been shown that men kiss to introduce sex hormones and proteins that make their female partner more sexually receptive.

Open mouth and tongue kissing are especially effective in upping the level of sexual arousal, because they increase the amount of saliva produced and exchanged. The more spit you swap, the more turned on you’ll get.

You can thank the many nerve endings in your lips for their part in making kissing feel so very good.

Your lips have more nerve endings than any other part of your body. When you press them against another set of lips or even warm skin, it just feels good. Combine that with the chemical co*cktail released during kissing, and you’ve got a recipe that’s sure to give you all the feels.

Along with the oxytocin and dopamine that make you feel affection and euphoria, kissing releases serotonin — another feel-good chemical. It also lowers cortisol levels so you feel more relaxed, making for a good time all around.

Kissing feels great and does the body good. It can help people feel connected and strengthen bonds of all kinds.

Just remember that not everyone wants to be kissed or sees kissing the way you do. It doesn’t matter if you’re greeting someone new, puckering up to peck a bestie, or going into a smooch sesh with a romantic interest — you should always ask before you smooch.

And don’t forget to practice good oral hygiene for a fresh, kiss-worthy mouth.

Why Do We Kiss? (2024)

FAQs

Why do we kiss so much? ›

It can be seen as a form of 'attachment behavior,' similar to hugging or hand-holding. These acts reduce stress and increase feelings of trust, satisfaction, and closeness in a relationship. From a social standpoint, kissing is a culturally-accepted way of expressing various emotions like love, respect, and friendship.

Why do we get the urge to kiss? ›

From a biological perspective, kissing triggers the release of oxytocin, a hormone associated with empathy, bonding, and attachment (Barchi-Ferreira & Osório, 2021) creating a sense of pleasure and intimacy. This innate human desire for physical connection and affection can be considered the foundation of basorexia.

Why does kissing turn us on? ›

In the body, a kiss triggers a cascade of neural messages and chemicals that transmit tactile sensations, sexual excitement, feelings of closeness, motivation and even euphoria.

Why do people enjoy making out? ›

Along with the oxytocin and dopamine that make you feel affection and euphoria, kissing releases serotonin — another feel-good chemical. It also lowers cortisol levels so you feel more relaxed, making for a good time all around.

Why is making out so addicting? ›

Kissing someone you like or love also produces a feeling of happiness, triggered by the production of dopamine in the body. A study suggests that the dopamine produced by kissing can stimulate the same area of the brain that is activated by the use of cocaine or heroin.

Where do men like to be kissed? ›

Most guys enjoy kissing on the mouth. Once you're comfortable with light kisses on the lips, try moving on to deeper and more intimate kisses, like the French kiss. If you're both bored with kissing on the lips, try kissing him in other places, like on his forehead, cheek, or shoulder.

Is kissing natural or learned? ›

Anthropologists have not reached a conclusion as to whether kissing is learned or a behavior from instinct. It may be related to grooming behavior also seen between other animals, or arising as a result of mothers premasticating food for their children. Non-human primates also exhibit kissing behavior.

Why do guys kiss with so much tongue? ›

07/8French kiss

When a man kisses you with their tongue, it means that they are head over heels for you. There is nothing that excites them anymore except for you. A French kiss is a sign of attraction and desire and if he kisses you with so much passion, he sure wants you.

Do humans naturally want to kiss? ›

Modern humans are predisposed to rely on kissing as part of the mating process, but where exactly did this behavior come from, and is it genetically encoded in us to know how to kiss? According to science, romantic kissing is the resulting behavior of biological desire and psychological attraction.

How does a boy feel after kissing? ›

A long kiss releases dopamine, oxytocin, and serotonin, feel-good chemicals that will make him smile. A single smile produces endorphins, another hormone that lifts his mood. Endorphins also create a “feedback loop” that will make him smile over and over.

Why do humans kiss with their tongue? ›

Description. A French kiss is an amorous kiss in which the participants' tongues extend to touch each other's lips or tongue. A tongue kiss stimulates the partner's lips, tongue and mouth, which are sensitive to the touch and induce sexual arousal, as the oral zone is one of the principal erogenous zones of the body.

Do men bond through kissing? ›

Their blood and saliva levels of the chemicals were compared before and after the kiss. Both men and women had a decline in cortisol, which is associated with stress. For men, oxytocin levels increased, indicating more interest in bonding, while oxytocin levels went down in women. "This was a surprise," Hill said.

Is it OK to makeout everyday? ›

And kissing more often can only do positive things for your mutual feelings of intimacy and connection. That's why Marin especially recommends the practice of making out with your partner every night to long-term couples who are feeling disconnected—but she also contends that any couple can benefit from it.

What does a girl think while kissing? ›

It depends on whether she likes the guy or not. If she likes him, it makes her feel warm and happy and full of tingles inside. If she doesn't like him, it makes her feel like moving away from him.

Why do we feel weak after kissing? ›

When that first passionate kiss brings love into our world the high levels of serotonin mimic those associated with obsessive-compulsive disorder. That first passionate kiss can cause some people to experience a sensation of weak-in-the-knees due to high levels of adrenaline, which are also spiking in the brain.

Why do we keep kissing? ›

We enjoy it as people because it releases happy chemicals, help us feel bonded to one another, and may reduce stress. Kissing is free, fun, and it helps relationships thrive—what's not to love?!

Why do couples kiss all the time? ›

An intentional kiss, even when it is a peck, involves presence and can release the love hormones. “Kissing is important,” Hellyer says. “It bonds you and connects you and keeps you in that state of being in love, not just being companions and housemates which a lot of couples fall into over time.

Why do guys kiss you so much? ›

Oxytocin is also responsible for boosting feelings of trust, increasing the desire to only be with one person, and reducing stress. So you see, when a guy wants to kiss you all the time, it's not only because it's fun, it's because it makes him feel closer to you.

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